SOUTH BRONX SCHOOL: UPDATE!!! The Lunch Teacher Chronicles

Saturday, March 9, 2019

UPDATE!!! The Lunch Teacher Chronicles

This is an exclusive SBSB news update! News so exclusive that we here at SBSB felt the need to copyright our this blog post.

The Lunch Teacher's (here and here) date with the Rubber Room came and went. When she walked into
school on February 26, she fully expected to sent to Michelle Nacht's welcome and dispersal unit on Gold St to find out which Rubber Room in the Bronx (Fordham Plaza or Zerega Ave) she would reside at. The Crack Team had it's fingers crossed for Zerega.

She had studied Star Trek trivia and other useless trivia to better able to segue into the insane conversations one gets into at the Rubber Room. Also, a stack of Eric Carle books was with her for her reading pleasure.

But she was thrown a curveball. She was not sent to Michelle Nacht. She was not reassigned. She is still teaching her class. This is great news for the parents and students who depend so much on her.

She is still facing these bullshit charges and was just assigned a damn fine NYSUT attorney.

My guess, as well as The Crack Team's, is that these are charges to drive her out of the school and into the ATR pool. And of course, a small fine of at least $2k just to drive home the point.

Luckily, The Crack Team has a contact over at 100 Gold St and has found out some interesting information on this case. The NYCDOE is about to introduce a pilot program, a new shock punishment regimen, on naughty and wayward teachers. The word is that the Lunch Teacher will be the first one this will be tried out on.

There are two punishment options being discussed.

Punishment #1 entails, in conjunction with new NYCDOE consultant Satan, "The Prince of Darkness," having the Lunch Teacher travel back with Satan to Hades in she will do lunch duty in the staff cafeteria in which she will be subject to one of Satan's "ironic punishments": she will be forced to do lunch duty for what will seem forever (In actuality it will be only a week).

Punishment #2 The Lunch Teacher will be forced to watch hour upon hour of watching this lunchroom etiquette (click here) film from 1960. The goal here is for the Lunch Teacher to show that she understands the proper social ramifications of lunch.


As of press time we are waiting with bated breath on the UFT to share if any of the above punishments violate the contract.




No comments: