We At SBSB Have Come Up With Three Plans to Reopen Schools

After listening to Mike Mulgrew in today's town hall I am more convinced than ever that there will be 100% remote learning come September. The DOE has no idea what it is doing. They are fucking it up for everyone. The way I see it the DOE is putting hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of lives at stake through their own ineptitude. A team with a brain damaged chimp can do better.

But never to worry. We here at SBSB are smarter than all the people put together at Tweed (yeah, the bar is low, but we do what we can). We have come up with a plan.

The Crack Team spent had a weekend retreat with several world renowned New York City teachers and Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp to come up with several plans to not only insure the safety of the students and staff, but to ensure that learning, real learning, will happen.

At the retreat we decided on three proposals to share on these pages with the rank and file. These plans are making their world premiere on this blog.


The Borg Plan©

This plan was heavily debated at this past weekend's retreat. We all agreed, and surprisingly so did Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp, that assimilating the students of New York City would not be a good thing. But as usual Zippy found a way.

Zippy suggested that we get Seven of Nine to come to the Bronx wearing her hottest outfit. Zippy's reasoning is that Seven of Nine while human, still has can tie into the Borg through the Borg implants she still has. The rest of us didn't want to ask why she must wear a hot outfit.

Anyhoo, Seven of Nine will use Borg technology to impart all knowledge on all the students of New York City. No cube, no assimilation, no explosions. Just putting knowledge into the students heads however the Borg do it.

The Monsters Inc Plan©

This one is simple and to the point.

Remember those guys that came through the windows when it was thought that there was contamination? They worked for the CDA (Child Contamination Agency).

The plan is to each student, each teacher, administrator, secretary, social worker, etc... get their own individual suit. Of course each suit will be free for everyone.

We all saw how good those suits work against any child contamination. Think how good those suits will do against COVID-19!

The Get Smart Plan©

My favorite plan. The Crack Team's favorite plan. The favorite plan of the world renowned NYC teachers. But not Zippy's favorite plan.

We break into CONTROL's headquarters and steal the famed Cone of Silence. Once it is brought back to the Bronx, Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp reverse engineers the cone and removes the silence mechanism from it and adds a germ killer aspect to it, or at the very least a germ preventer. And instead of each cone being for two people, each cone is for one individual.

Once Zippy does his part, we send the plans out to a local manufacturer where these "Cones of Germ Safety" will be made and distributed for free.

Once in the hands of students and staff schools will reopen with everyone having a "Cone of Germ Safety" around them.

Those are our three proposals. We here at SBSB would like to hear from anyone and everyone with their thoughts and which plan is favored. Please leave your comments.

Yes, Mayor DeBlasio!!! I Want to Go Back to School in September!!!

Yeah, I want to go back. I want my routine back. I really do miss going in to school in the morning. I miss my per session. I miss working with the students. I miss my per session. I am perverse. I like getting out of bed at 5:15 in the morning and leaving early to get a parking spot. I kinda miss working for some of the brain dead principals this past year. There's a lot getting used to being at home.

But guess what Mayor DeBlasio, don't lump me in that dumb ass statement you made in the Daily News....

I have not “met a teacher yet who doesn’t want to go back, because they’re devoted to the kids and they know the kids just can’t get as good an education remotely.”

Bullshit. Bullocks. 

I believe DeBlasio that the teachers he met said the above to him. I truly do. What Deblasio fails to share with the grownups out there is that that statement came with a qualifier.

But. However. Nevertheless. Notwithstanding. Nonetheless. Though. Withal. Be that as it may. 

I can go on and on but I shan't. 

Since our mayor is completely becoming brain dead let's use one of those adverbs so how douchey mayor but learn. In fact, this can be an example of remote learning.

Let's see. Johnny, I would like to use "however" for $200.

Billy Boy, watch and learn.

You said: "blah, blah, blah" (refer to above highlighted quote).

I say: However, I am afraid to go back. I have type 2 diabetes and 56 years old. Though I would like to go back, I will not risk my life for the NYCDOE. I will risk my life for my family, and maybe if I am motivated enough or in a good mood, God and country. THOUGH I think I would risk my life sooner for either Chrissie Hynde and/or Sarah Silverman before God and country.

I do not trust the NYC DOE with my, as well as my colleagues, health and safety nor the health and safety of the students. You and Carranza fucked up. There should have been a plan in place no later than the beginning of June. One plan for reopening and one plan for remote. The summer should have been used on best practices for remote learning. Actual teachers should have been consulted. For instance, Arthur Goldstein, who wrote  a spot on piece in the Post yesterday and in fact came up with a gosh  diddly darn great idea...

Let a limited number of students in to see counselors, nurses, doctors and social workers. Let them socialize safely, which they could not do in class. If technology or home conditions are difficult, let’s give students and teachers safe, quiet space in buildings to work online.

Sounds reasonable. Why wasn't this planned for? You know the old saying, "Plan for the worst, hope for the best."

Arthur is also right. Every teachers should put in for an accommodation. Start smoking I say. Newport's are only $8 in Pennsylvania. I am sure the generics are cheaper.

How do we know the HVAC systems will be fine? How do we know masks will be available? Testing? If one person in a school comes down with COVID, does the school shut down?  Why not just IMPROVE the remote learning over the summer?

The districts in Westchester still haven't got a clue and these are much smaller district? What makes DeBlasio and Carranza think they can pull it off???

I want my son to go back to college. BUT or WITHAL, I am concerned with spending that money and he is forced home in November when he can start and stay the semester at Westchester Community College. NEVERTHELESS, I trust my son's college to be prepared and to do the right thing any day then I do over DeBlasio and Carranza.

Every teacher reading this, your life is not worth your job. I lost a dear, dear friend in 2011 because of the mayhem at IS 162 in the Bronx.

BE THAT AS IT MAY,  I am counting on, and giving the benefit of the doubt thus far,  the UFT to do the stand up thing.