The Body

In addition to the plethora of assistant principals we have at my school we also have what is officially an "administrative teacher". Yes, on our organization sheet there is a position called administrative teacher and it is filled by a Body. What is it an administrative teacher does? Here is my answer. I have been unable to answer this thus far until now. However the crack team here a SBSB have rigged our supercomputers, put our brains together and have come up with the answer.

It seems that this Body that takes up such a position has mastered the art of suckling at the sphincter of those who are able to make decisions. The Body has fully ingratiated itself into making others think it is indispensable to the running of the school and takes up space in a beautiful office that can be used, and has been use, for student purposes. Remember, the mantra of Children First at my school is a priority.

The Body in years past was the school's attendance teacher and was brought to our school several years ago by her good friend who took an AP job at the school. Her friend, tired of the abuse heeped upon her by the previous principal, left after nine months but The Body had already learned how to pick and clean dingleberries from its host so thus the Body stayed on.

Last year The Body was doing its internship for administration at the school. The Body rolled over whenever it was asked and had its brain skewed to think of how to best serve The Body and the powers that be first instead of the children. The Body was also hoping that it would be an assistant principal at the school. But alas, it was not to be. There was a plethora of AP's at the school and The Body did not want to move on and leave its host.

So this year someone, somehow created this job, this administrative teacher for The Body. Not a bad gig. The Body was able to purchase a brand new car in keeping up with the status of its position. The Body has fancy new clothes, and fancy new hairdos and extensions. It has even been rumored that when The Body defecates it does not emit a odor.

The problem as I see it is that The Body is being paid roughly $65K to do the work of a school secretary which if you get someone way low on the pay scale will be paid about $30K. Think of what an additional $35K can get for the school? Now I know that The Body is performing attendance duties. But this can be combined with another school in a .5 capacity. See money saving made easy. So then why is an administrative teacher so desperately needed? Is The Body an administrator or a pedagogue? From what I have been able to ascertain The Body is being paid as a pedagogue. Which brings me to this.....

Why, if The Body is being paid under a teacher's line, as I walked by its office Tuesday during extended day I saw it inhaling a chicken leg? I thought extended day was for teachers, pedagogues, to work with small groups of students so they can improve academically. The Body arrives at 8 30 AM promptly so the excuse of other professional activities is moot, so why is the Body not working with students during extended day? What purpose does The Body serve?

OMG! I just thought of this. The $65K salary is justified. The Body was handing out the photographers envelopes and was the liaison with the photographer for picture day. Whew! I must say sixty five thousand well spent!