Numb Nuts presented a mind numbing professional development yesterday during faculty conference time on Bloom's Taxonomy and differentiated instruction in lesson plans in accordance with any special needs students that are in our classes. At least that is what I understood it to be when I was not excitedly thinking of the colonoscopy without any anesthetic I am scheduled for at the end of the month. It was amazing how even when plagiarizing the material what a clear concise f**k up he is. Better, while having John Deacon watch him whilst taking notes, he still screws it up. But we are not hear to bury Caesar, we are here to critique him. I have given many professional development seminars in the past I feel I am able to objectively give the skinny on Numb Nuts.
1. Always be on time
Duh! This is easy. Being ten minutes late to PD that is only scheduled to be forty minutes does not make you look good. it just reinforces everyones beliefs that you are a incompetent imbecile. You are not Liza needing to make a grand entrance. You are Numb Nuts and need to be there on time. The rest of the staff was. Why weren't you? In fact you should be there as staff is assembling.
2. Be prepared
That means have everything set up before hand. This includes having your laptop, handouts, and sign-in sheet already available and present at the beginning of the session, not as an after thought once you arrive.
3. Know how to use PowerPoint
This is a pet peeve of mine. People think it is cool that they know how to use PowerPoint. The have the cool backgrounds, make the text do really neat things. Bollocks! PowerPoint is there to enhance your presentation, not take it over. Kind of like using Lowry's when you cook. With PowerPoint you want to be succinct and to the point with your text. What you should be doing is highlighting your ideas; bulleting as it were. Not copying and pasting of what you find online and having everyone read it. That is plagiarism. It is illegal. It is also unoriginal. The bullets support what is spewing forth from your mouth.
4. Know your material
You are clueless. You are just regurtitating what you have read online. Like a mama bird feeding her babies. The only differences are the mama bird serves a purpose, is loved, and respected.
5. Stop the empty compliments
It's the true sign of phoniness. You do it with the students, don't do it with grown ups. We don't seek your approval, only seeing you drive over the Triboro (RFK) Bridge never to return. Or at least finally held accountable. Or to stop dragging students by the arms through the hallway. Or to stop being such a phony. Or to get a clue. Or to get laid. Or to have some humility.
here, here #5 should have been #1. Classroom teachers are told not to give empty compliments on education 101. i guess numb nuts missed this class.
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