Cathie Black's Baffling Email To Principals

I don't know about others, but I have had a tough time getting my hands on a copy of The Talking Cathie Doll's mass email to principals (teachers for some reason were exempt) that she had sent out this past Tuesday, November 30. Last night on Twitter, @QueensTeacher1 mentioned that she heard it was not well written. This made me want to get my hands on it even more. The crack team here at SBSB place many calls, called in many chits to get a copy of this email all to no avail. A miracle was needed. Some on the team went to shul this morning to pray and put a good word in to God for guidance on how to get this email. Others on the team were planning to go to Mass for the first time in years tomorrow morning. This email was coveted and needed.

Our prayers were answered this morning as we opened up an email. Our pal, our friend, Whitney Tilson couldn't help but spill the beans. He somehow got a copy and decided, probably unauthorized, to share it in one of his mass emailings. We thank him for answering our prayers.

So with all the kudos Whitney rightly deserves, we here at SBSB present The Talking Cathie Doll's email. Comments from the SBSB team are added after the email.

From: Black Cathie
Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 2010 5:47 PM
Subject: Hello from Cathie Black

Dear Colleagues,

I am reaching out to you to introduce myself and thank you for welcoming me to the Department of Education. Now that the State has officially approved the waiver, I am eager to become fully immersed in the exciting work ahead.

The past few weeks have been nothing short of a whirlwind for all of us, but like you, I am fully committed to our mission to provide every child in New York City with a high-quality education. That’s why I took this job—to build on the unprecedented progress that our public schools have made under the watch of Mayor Bloomberg, Chancellor Klein, and all of you.

You might have heard or read a little about me in the past few weeks, but I would like the opportunity to tell you in my own words who I am and why I am excited about this job.

For four decades I devoted my professional life to blazing trails in the magazine and publishing industry. I got where I am today by working hard, making bold decisions, and listening closely to the strong teams I’ve had around me. I intend to proceed in the same way during my upcoming tenure at the DOE. I know that this is my most important mission yet, which is why I will need all of you with me over the next three years as we continue to transform the system to put children first.

As you know, I will appoint Shael Polakow-Suransky as Senior Deputy Chancellor and Chief Academic Achievement Officer. In this new role, Shael will be responsible for the administration and supervision of all instructional initiatives and will serve as my counselor on all matters related to teaching and learning. Shael has more than fifteen years of experience in New York City’s public schools in nearly every capacity. I am thrilled that he has agreed to take on this critical position. I also look forward to working closely with Sharon Greenberger as my Chief Operating Officer. Sharon will continue to be responsible for managing operations and will also serve as my key advisor on critical policy, governance, strategy, and communications issues.

Over the next few weeks, I will be working with Joel, the Deputy Chancellors, and all of you to make sure this is a seamless transition. I am especially excited about getting involved in the innovative work happening throughout the Department and beginning to identify areas for improvement and new opportunities. I know that I have a lot to learn about the inner workings of the system, but I am also confident that my fresh perspective, combined with your deep experience, will help us rise to the challenge of preparing all NYC public school students for college and careers.

Thank you for your support. I look forward to getting to know you.

Sincerely,

Cathie Black

AND NOW FOR THE RETORT

1. thank you for welcoming me to the Department of Education.

Who has welcomed here? All there has been is sucking of teeth and rolling of the eyes.

2. Now that the State has officially approved the waiver,

You mean now that Steiner has caved and been bought off, had future promises made, and his cat was released your waiver has been approved.

3. but like you, I am fully committed to our mission to provide every child in New York City with a high-quality education.

But Mayor Bloomberg said said you were the closer. The right closer for what? To lay off over 6,000 teachers? To implement cuts in the DOE? To throw more money at charter schools? How then do you claim to provide every child with a high quality education?

4. For four decades I devoted my professional life to blazing trails in the magazine and publishing industry.

How have you done this? I hate to say this, but Rupert Murdoch has been more trailblazing than you have. So has Stan Lee. So has Charles Townsend. And let's not forget Hugh Heffner.

5. I got where I am today by working hard, making bold decisions, and listening closely to the strong teams I’ve had around me. I intend to proceed in the same way during my upcoming tenure at the DOE.

So have teachers gotten to where they are by working hard. Please don't try to make yourself special. Is one to assume that with this statement you will make your decisions independent of Mayor Bloomberg's wishes?

6. need all of you with me over the next three years as we continue to transform the system to put children first.

You know what? Get off the "Children First" crap. It is empty. Please.

7. I will appoint Shael Polakow-Suransky as Senior Deputy Chancellor and Chief Academic Achievement Officer.

You yourself appointed Suransky? Please share how you came to this decision. Or was he thrust upon you?

8. Shael will be responsible for the administration and supervision of all instructional initiatives and will serve as my counselor on all matters related to teaching and learning.

Translated: Shael will explain to me very slowly in words I can understand how to do my job. I will learn from Shael the difference between guided reading and hands on mathematics. Shael will also explain to The Talking Cathie Doll that it is wrong to think of Mexicans and African-Americans as servants.

9. Shael has more than fifteen years of experience in New York City’s public schools in nearly every capacity. I am thrilled that he has agreed to take on this critical position.

You are thrilled he is there as your beard.

10. I will be working with Joel, the Deputy Chancellors, and all of you to make sure this is a seamless transition.

Why aren't the teachers and parents mentioned here? Don't you want to work with them? Hey instead of visiting schools, visit the neighborhoods. Come down to 149th St. Come hang out on 153rd and Melrose Ave. Visit Brownsville. See these neighborhoods from something other than your limo and from the interstate.

11. but I am also confident that my fresh perspective, combined with your deep experience, will help us rise to the challenge of preparing all NYC public school students for college and careers.

You have no perspective, you have no clue. You will fail. You will have a complete fail by the summer of 2011. How is this known? Your mouth. You just can't keep stupid things coming out of the hole under your nose.

Please Cathie, go find another line of work.