Hypocrisy Alert! E4E Is Reaching Out For An Outreach Director With Experience

Outgoing E4E Outreach Director Beth Doctor

Educators4Excellence, that bastion of lackeys, sycophants, and boot lickers is looking for a new outreach director. Apparently, Beth Doctor the current and/or former outreach director wasn't outreaching enough. Or perhaps she was called back to the home planet. Who knows? But, we here at SBSB, in the spirit of togetherness and civility, have decided that we will post the position here and share with all our loyal readers the qualifications that der Präsident Evan Stone wants in a new outreach director.

Passion for students, improving education, and closing the achievement gap

In my opinion, this could be 99.99% of the teachers in NYC.

Deep commitment to the values of E4E and an understanding of education policy and
the education reform movement, both locally and nationally

Perhaps you can hold off for a year and hire Ruben? He of course seems to have a deep, deep, deep commitment to E4E and he will have his own understanding of education policy one year from now.

Bachelor’s degree and at least 2 years of professional experience, either in education,
education policy, or community/campaign organizing

OK, a college graduate that makes sense. But I am curious. Why does one need experience. Certainly, no one from E4E had any experience before that 5 week, 50 hour TFA propaganda and indoctrination camp. Why, when surely a trained primate can perform this function, is experience needed?

Empathy, understanding, and respect for and of the teaching profession; previous
experience in a classroom strongly preferred


I guess this disqualifies Unlce Mike, Sock Puppet Walcott, Cathie Black, Bill Gates, Joel Klein, and almost all E4E members. But yet again, why is experience required? Experience does not seem to be required of principals who have never been in education, or an elitist from Tulane University to sit on the same panel as Diane Ravitch. Where is the experience when some elitist Yalie has his ass kissed on FOX Business? Just asking, that's all.


Strong oral and written communication skills, including experience in preparing and
delivering public presentations

Hmm, I see that Ruben is out of the running. Seriously, all communications, presentations come already pre-packgaged from Rhee, DFER, ERN, etc... Oh, and Uncle Mike. So in actuality, no skills are needed.

Proven team player with appropriate interpersonal skills in a variety of settings


Team players? What does E4E see as a team player? Is knifing other teachers in the back being a team player? Is whining like Ruben a team player? Is the insidious method that Little Evan Stone attempted to seperate teachers from their direct deposits being a team player? Hey E4E people, there is no "i" in team.

A self-starter with exceptional organization and time management skills; ability to
design a work plan, prioritize and meet goals; entrepreneurial

Again, 99.99% of the teachers in NYC.

Grace under pressure and a good sense of humor

The applicant must have Grace Under Pressure?? I don't know. Though I like the album, I find it to be not one of Rush's best efforts. Alex Lifeson almost left the band during production, and besides, the keyboards are way to heavy. How about one must have Permanent Waves?


As far as a sense of humor, I am sure one will be developed working there seeing what a joke E4E and Little Evan Stone is.


Must be willing to travel throughout the five boroughs and have the ability to work
non-traditional hours, including weekday evenings and weekends

Translation: Those with families, lives, and brains need not apply.

Look save yourself trouble Evan, go to the Bronx Zoo, go to the Monkey House or Congo exhibit and find yourself the new outreach director. It'll be cheaper. Just a few bananas a day.