The Prettiest Belle at the NYCDOE Job Fair

I feel like the prettiest girl at the ball. I have two, not one, but two suitors chasing after me. My heart
is all aflutter. Who shall I give the rose to?

Last week I received an email from Glenda Rivera telling me that CS 211x has a plethora of available positions for little old, 55 years old and two years from retirement, me!! I have goosebumps as I type this I am THAT excited.

I don't know which position to choose from.

1. 3rd and 4th grade general education
2. 4th and 5th grade special education
3. 6th and 7th grade special education
4. Foreign language French 
5. 6th and 7th grade middle school
6. Middle school social studies cluster
7. Physical education K-12

So many, with such little time to decide. But they want me!!!!!

Look, they gave me so many dates to choose from and other info:

Our panel will be meeting on:

Wednesday, August 31st and Thursday August 1st from 10:00am to 11:00am

Monday August 5th - Thursday August 8th from 10:00am to 11:00am 

You may be asked to conduct a demonstration lesson after the interview.  Please come prepare with a demonstration lesson in the grade of preference, grade K-8th, and license area.  Please consider the following to prepare for your demonstration lesson.

• Total number of students (12)
• Approximately 25-30 minutes
• Consider what management techniques you might use to maintain appropriate classroom behavior during your teaching

We would like to extend an invitation for you to attend. If you are interested, reply all to this email with the date you will be attending. 

Our panel includes our principal Ms. Drummond, support staff and teachers. Please bring with you a portfolio, your resume and any references.  

If you have participated in any of our interview panels please disregard this email.

The only date I can go is August 31, which is a Saturday. Oops! Typo, I think they meant August 28. But sadly, I will be going to the opening day of the Columbia County Fair in Chatham, NY. If I email Ms Rivera back perhaps she will give me another date? No. I just checked. The email was not sent to me. It was a mass email. Kinda like let's throw shit and see where it lands. I'm not that special after all. Boo-hoo.

Big deal. Now I have one suitor left!!! 

I also received an invitation to the Bronx Borough Office Teacher's Job Fair and Ball on August 8 from 3-6 PM at the UFT Bronx office! What should I wear? Business, with a hint of allure? Business casual with a hint of naughty? I wish to thank Mijanoux Joachim-Robinson, Talent Acquisition Associate, for the Bronx Borough Office for inviting me. However, I shan't be able to attend. 

For I have plans that day. After a day of summer school, I shall be gallivanting amongst the 1% of the Upper West Side. And I know the job fair is bullshit. One hundred percent tried and true bullshit. 

I went to one of those 3 years ago. Unless you have a special ed. license you are not getting hired. That's what 95 % of the positions were for. I learned then that all you need to get hired for a special ed. license is a heartbeat. And that might make you overqualified. 

For those who didn't get the email and want to just see a train wreck and treat yourself to free UFT cookies click here. And if you want to just fill in fake names, know that Dick Hertz, Heywood Jablowme, Seymour Butz, and Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo have already registered. 

By the way, with the new contract schools were going to get a big break on hiring ATRs. Hey UFT, how is that going?