Whacking The Willie In Detroit

I do believe that Whitney Tilson will soon be flying to Detroit. Not to open a KIPP school, but rather to compare notes with disgraced former Detroit Public Schools president Otis Mathis.

In a meeting with school Superintendent Teresa Gueyser, Mathis, according to WJBK in Detroit, "unzipped his pants, then pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and placed it 'in the zipper area of his pants, appearing to wipe himself,' according to the letter. He later began 'moving his hand as if to be masturbating,' said Gueyser wrote in her complaint.

We here at SBSB look down with disgrace at Otis Mathis, yet applaud him for proper masturbatory protocol for having an ubiquitous handkerchief at the ready. This shows that not only did he not want to leave a mess, but learned from Bill Clinton not to leave any tell tale signs behind. At press time the crack team here at SBSB as yet to ascertain if any hand creme or lubricant was used.

But all is not lost Mr Mathis. You wish to stay in education? Come to New York City and apply for a high powered and well paid position with the DOE. Yes, your masturbatory mishap qualifies you for a job at Tweed. Once there your past will be safely deleted from the memory banks and you can go about your masturbatory merry ways all you like. Once enconsed at Tweed you will find many like you who have left administrative jobs in shame on to find a special home. We here at SBSB look forward to future employment.