Elections Are Important

 Many many years ago when I was in first grade at the Concord Road School in Ardsley there was a student government. All grades, K-5 were represented. This first grader, Muttley Schwartz was the president of the student council and he was practically unbeatable. There were five classrooms in each grade for a total of 30. Each class elected their own safety monitor but the "best buddies" board of the student council selected cronies to be classroom leaders. They oversaw the safety monitors, but they owed their positions to the student council and Muttley Schwartz. Muttley's faction was known as the Dick Dasterdly faction.

Not many of the students cared much for Muttley. Yeah, once in a while he fought for us. Got five minutes added to recess. Made sure that kindergarten had nap time every day, and talked tough but never really followed through. His one big accomplishment came when I was in second grade and he got us chocolate milk to be served in the cafeteria. I remember the press conference Muttley had with the school newspaper. He talked a big game. How tough negotiations were with the principal. That he was "there for us." Blah, blah blah. 

It was also that year that he faced his first real test as a leader. Two factions; the Underdog faction and the Minute Mouse faction decided to run against Muttley and the Dick Dasterdly faction. It was tough. They didn't expect to win but were looking for seats on the "best buddies" board. Nobody really expected They just wanted to get some seats on the "best buddies" board. 

And guess what? The Minute Mouse faction got four seats on the board. Now, there were 50 seats but this was a big victory. Some great kids were on that board. Sadly, those kids had to deal with the controlling nature of the Minute Mouse faction de facto boss The Frog.

The Underdog faction was led at the time by Simon Bar Sinister. Yes, that Simon Bar Sinister. Hey, they thought he was a mensch, but they learned the hard way.

But between this election and the next safety monitor elections things began to change. Yes, the Minute Mouse faction started to win some safety monitor elections. But they were mostly in small classes with few students. There soon was some unhappiness going on and soon there was a purge. It also didn't help that in the elections when I was in grade, Dick Dasterdly didn't really put much of an effort in the election except for some memes. 

Meanwhile, the Underdog faction was rolling up its sleeves and listening to the students of the Concord Road School. It turned no one away. It became a version of the Island of Misfit Toys. Simon Bar Sinister was no longer there and a collective release of sphincters made everyone feel relieved. But they plugged away. They too won some safety monitor positions. In big classrooms, with influential students who lived in the rich part of Ardsley as well as in Hartsdale. They also had a new leader; Sweet Polly Purebred. 

Which brings me to the elections when I was in fourth grade. All three factions squared off again. But this time something big happened. Yes, the Snidely Whiplash faction won big. Minute Mouse faction was expecting to at least come in second place. It was not to be. 

Underdog came in second place with Minute Mouse coming in a distant third. People were surprised. I was. Minstrels will be writing songs about the Underdog faction and Sweet Polly Purebred for years to come. 

But then there were the elections the years I was in fifth grade. The Minute Mouse and Underdog factions decided to combine forces to defeat Muttley and Dick Dasterdly.

But there are problems. For some reason, the Minute Mouse faction and the Frog believe that they get to call the shots. That they can dictate who gets to play and be friends with this combined force. That Sweet Polly Purebred and her Bullwinkle faction don't deserve much of a say. They act as if the Bullwinkle faction should feel honored just to be allowed to run with them. 

I remember thinking in fifth grade, "What the fuck?" How the fuck can a third place finisher--third place by quite a bit-- dictate terms to a second place finisher? How fucked up is that? 

If anyone or anybody should be calling the shots, it should be the Underdog faction and Sweet Polly Purebred. At the very least they have no scores to settle with other students. 

I remember that year as an important election. That there was a chance to take down Muttley and Dick Dasterdly. One faction thought of themselves, the other of the students. I don't remember who won that year or anything else about the election. I remember the Minute Mouse faction trying to bogart everything. But I do know what I felt was right. That coming in second place that year in the Concord Road School student council elections gives you gravitas and the right to be treated with respect. And to run the show.

 

SBSB Groupie Trixie Sanitized in the Eye

When last we left Trixie, a SBSB groupie, Trixie had her schedule and program changed. Again and again. 

Trixie is again in the SBSB news. This time for a student copying something from Tik Tok.

Trixie was teaching her nuclear fission class. A student, let's call this student Shlomo Rubenstein decided to get up out of his seat. Why? Because all of the sudden Shlomo decided he needed to sanitize his hands. 

Now Trixie has no problem with the proper sanitizing of hands. Especially when there is little to no mitigation against the COVID. In fact Trixie encourages all mitigation. But not in this instance. 

Shlomo is well known and causes quite a ruckus in class. Shlomo just wanted to get out of his seat. Trixie asked Shlomo several times to return to his seat but Shlomo was just gosh darn determined to get to the hand sanitizer. 

Shlomo then proceeded to put globs and globs of hand sanitizer on his hands. So much, that it was dripping. As Shlomo walked past Trixie he proceed to cup his hands with the hand sanitizer and flicked it over his head and some of the sanitizer got in Trixie's eyes. 

Trixie soon felt the sting in her eyes and summoned the proper school authority. Shlomo was removed from class and from all Trixie was able to ascertain received a stern "talking to." As of press time The Crack Team still has not been able to find out if the "talking to" involved any finger wagging. 

Trixie of course filled out an occurrence report and left to seek medical care. According to this website, hand sanitizer in the eyes can...

 ...can be quite dangerous if not handled correctly, and even lead to vision loss

This can be ungood.  

After this incident several staff members shared with Trixie that a stunt like this is being encouraged on Tik Tok. The Crack Team doesn't care for Tik Tok but did Google search and came up with this.

And guess what? Yeah, it is always the teacher's fault. It would be nice to see the UFT take a more proactive stance in such a situation. Patrick Lynch would be screaming at cops being abused. Where is Mike Mulgrew in such matters?

Retirement Just Around My Corner

 I have the years and the age to retire. I just owe some money for my first few years that I hadn't paid into TRS and wanted to get some clarification.

Back in the good old days I was able to dial the Bronx UFT and either a) get through to someone at the switchboard, or b) call the pension people directly. Not anymore. The UFT has a new way to avoid your calls. It's non award winning concierge service. 

On October 26 I decided to make place the phone call to the Bronx UFT. I got the concierge service and promptly placed on hold.

I placed the phone call while on the Deegan at Fordham Rd. No one picked up until I was up on Elmsford where you get onto I-287 from the Thruway. I was then told that I would hear back from someone within 48 hours. It took a week. I got a date for a consultation. November 17. In person. In the Bronx. 

I'm excited and scared at the same time.

As much as I can’t stand the DOE and what it’s done to me, I’m looking at retirement with trepidation. It’s like I’m losing my identity. For 25 years this is all I have known and been. It's not that I got my identity from being a teacher, but this all I have known for 25 years. My year doesn't go from January to December, it goes from September to June.

I feel I need to decompress for at least a year after I retire from the DOE. It's the same feeling I had during my 3020a hearings. After the hearing I needed down time and stopped at IHop each night. I will need more than IHop.

My firsts choice to move to some cabin in the Adirondacks or the Catskills where my nearest neighbor is 5 miles away. I would live in this cabin for a year completely off the grid. I will forage and hunt for my food each day and chop wood for fire and heat. I will grow my hair long and have a manly beard. But this is just a fantasy.

My other dream is to live in Corning for a year or two (I lived there for about 6 months in 1986. In fact I nearly caused an international incident there. I must share one day). Kinda like reliving my youth, but this time as a so called "responsible" and "mature" adult. I figure I can sock my pension away and sell cars to
pay my bills. I've always wanted to sell cars. Or sell anything. Maybe I could be a greeter in Walmart. 

If Corning doesn't pan out there is always Binghamton or Hudson to live in. I really like both towns. But selling cars. 

I can't do the Florida thing. One more retired Jew from New York moving to Florida has become a stereotype. I used to ask my dad about why he hadn't retired to Florida. His answer was, "Florida is death's waiting room." Yeah a waiting room with the 4:30 early bird special.

I doubt I will retire anytime soon. My son is a junior in college, and he has another year to go. Also, I am not retiring without having another gig lined up. Part of me wants to write the book the late, great, Stu Schmelz and I discussed writing: "We Can't Make This Shit Up!" Just like Sparky Lyle and Graig Nettles had in their last years with the Yankees I can as well in my last year with the DOE. 

Something hit me as I was writing this. I'm sure there will be people I still communicate with and see. I don't think I will wither away in the night. But then there are people I was close to but will never ever see again due to distance or whatever reason. Sad.

Let's see what happens and what I hear on the 17th. Maybe I will hit mega millions.

The Crack Team Has A Mole Within UNITY

I have been thinking on how to handle all these accusations that have befallen me the last week and how to fix the hazarai that I unintentionally created. What can I do? 

I thought about it long and hard driving up to Ithaca yesterday. Suddenly, a light bulb popped over my
head when I stopped in Hancock NY. I promptly contacted The Crack Team and instructed that at least 10 members (We need at least 10 to have a minyan) meet me in Binghamton. Hancock being about 45 minutes from Binghamton forced The Crack Team to charter a jet and meet me at the Spieidie and Rib Pit on Front Street just off of I-81 in Binghamtom. The Crack Team had shared with me that they had planned for such an occasion and on this blog post for the first time ever,  some of the evil planning will be revealed

The Crack Team has not only a mole within in the UFT and Unity but has surreptitiously bugged the Unity Election War Room. All what you are about to read took place on Monday, November 1, 2020 the day after a certain blog post that had been posted but since deleted. 

Names have been changed to protect the evil.

Larry the Lobster: Did you read Zucker's blog last nigh?

Squidward: Yeah, we are fucked. XXXX is going to be part of this so called coalition.

Pearl: We are. What are we going to do?

Mr Crabs: We have to call out the big guns. I have placed a call to Plankton and Man Ray. We will have them do our dirty work while it will keep our hands clean and we will have plausible deniability.

A few minutes later Plankton and Man Ray enter. All Unity members greet them with raised fists and chant, "All bow to the evilness of Plankton and Man Ray."

Mr Crabs: Welcome Plankton and Man Ray, what evil plans do you have for our enemies?

Plankton: We have already begun our evil plan against the others. On November 7, 2021 I will leave a paper bag of doody on the leader of XXXX's doorstep, light the bag on fire, ring the bell and run away. The leader will be forced to stomp out the fire and only then will realize he had fecal matter all over his feet. 

Mr Crabs: Excellent and diabolical! That plan will surely make the leader of XXXX  run away and hide. Man Ray, what is your plan? 

Man Ray: My plan is pure evil. I will make several phone calls on November 8 to (inaudible) and ask him, "We are calling from the electric company and doing a survey. Is your refrigerator running?" When he answers "Yes!" I will tell him that he "needs to go and get it! (An evil laugh is heard on the audio). 

The next day I will call (Again, inaudible), and ask "Do you have King Arthur in a can?" These two phone calls are what we in the evil business call "psych ops." (Inaudible) will be left to a shriveling shaking mass, left to sucking his thumb in the corner and rocking back and forth.

Plankton: Who gives a shit about (inaudible)? (Inaudible) is just a bit player, no one really takes (Inaudible) seriously!

Man Ray: No, you dick! (Inaudible) is the glue that holds them together. 

Plankton: Fuck off Man Ray! 

At this point Plankton and Man Ray start to brawl. Plankton's Karen comes in and starts to mock Plankton for getting his ass kicked by shouting, "You are not a real man!" Mr Crabs just sits back with an evil laugh and knows that all is going according to plan. The gloves have come off of Unity. It is now a fight of Good vs. Evil.

Come back to these pages as The Crack Team deciphers audio obtained from the Unity Election War Room and continues to debrief it's Unity mole.

 

Red Lenses

 I just felt like posting this video of Rush from November 1984 from the Grace Under Pressure Tour. I was 20 years old at the time and I missed this tour. In fact after seeing them for the first time during the Exit...Stage Left Tour in 1981 I did not see them again until the Presto tour in 1990.

Grace Under Pressure album was heavy on the keyboards, but that was Rush in the mid 80's. I know of lots of fans who did not like their turn towards keyboards but I liked it. It was different. 

Two red songs on GUP or as us in Rush fandom say, "p/g." Get it? Leave comment with what "p/g" means and win a prize. 

So below are the lyrics and then the bootleg video.

I see red
And it hurts my head
I guess it must be something
That I read

It's the color of your heartbeat
A rising summer sun
The battle lost or won
The flash to fashion
The pulse to passion
Feels red inside my head

And truth is often bitter left unsaid
Said red red
Thinking about the overhead
The underfed
Couldn't we talk about
Something else instead

We've got Mars on the horizon
Says the National Midnight Star
It's true
What you believe is what you are
A pair of dancing shoes
The Soviets are the blues
The reds, under your bed
Lying in the darkness
Dead ahead

And the mercury is rising
Barometer starts to fall
You know it gets to us all
The pain that is learning
And the rain that is burning
Feel red, still, go ahead
You see black and white
And I see red, red
Not blue

 

False Accusations Laid on Me

 Hey how about that top ranked and award winning UFT Concierge service? 

FUCK THAT. Save it for another time. I got to get something off my chest. 

On Sunday I was planning to blog with those 12 crossed out words above. I came across something else that I thought was more newsworthy so I published that. What a shit storm? Out of deep respect for
someone else, I deleted it. It's gone. The link is dead. Don't go trying to find it. 

I want to clear up several accusations that have been made against me. 

Accusation of Mining for Blog Hits

First, I did not post what I posted on Sunday for "blog hits." I don't give a shit about blog hits. I care if something is newsworthy. It was newsworthy. Simple as that. I also don't need people to parrot that comment. Be fucking original. Be fresh.

If I cared about blog hits I would be blogging so much more frequently. If I blog twice a month that is a lot now. So go figure it out. Or as one SBSB fanboi said to me, "What's the big deal about wanting blog hits? I mean, you don't not date a girl because she is pretty."

Oh yeah, I forgot. I never sent out an email that I updated the blog nor did I tweet out the link. Wouldn't that add to the hits? 

Accusation of Being a Unity Plant and/or Working Undercover for Unity

Really? This has got to be one of the dumbest things I have heard about me EVER!

My Hatred of XXXX Has Clouded my Judgement

No, it hasn't. And it isn't hate. It's knowing that I don't need to see the sun rise in the East to know it is has risen in the East. However, I do know that to go forward, XXXX must be involved. If my hatred was so intense, I would have editorialized in the now deleted blog post. But I didn't.

Oh, and I never said I how awful XXXX is. Well, maybe several years ago. But now I say "I don't xxxxx XXXX. At least I don't act as someone's little xxxxx. 

Lest we forget comparing me to Porty about how I feel about XXXX is a double face palm.

But I can look in the mirror and say I am my own person and have my dignity. I don't go running back with my tail between my legs after being publicly and literally shat upon XXXX.

I Triggered People

Triggered? Now we are woke? Boo fucking hoo. Get over it.  I told my son when he left for college to be wary of those who whine about being triggered and people accusing others of micro-aggressions. Oops, does typing this now make me a MAGA? "Yeah, fucking god damn liberal Right Wingers."

This shit I posted on Sunday is not super duper classified information. Big fucking deal it was leaked by me. Own up to it. Run with it. But, really. I believe someone might be projecting,.

Accuse me of something, you better back it up. I been accused of too much shit lately that I haven't done. Worse, I don't need to be texted this shit when I am fucking teaching. 

 

 

BREAKING!! Draft Joint Announcement of Anti-Unity Caucuses

The rumors are true. There is a coalition forming to take on Unity in next year's UFT elections. The details are being worked out. Nothing is official yet, but Solidarity, New Action, ICE, Educators of NYC, Retired Advocate, and MORE are in negotiations and discussions. It's still wait and see but one never knows. 

That being said, The Crack Team has received a copy of the joint statement draft put out by all parties involved. I am publishing it on these pages without editorializing, commenting, or making suggestions. However, anyone who is reading this is free to to add their two cents in the comments section and should feel assured that the comments will at the very least be read by all the caucuses. There is a lot that an be agreed on I am sure, And the disagreements can surely be turned into agreements. Please let the ideas flow

The Joint Announcement:

Are you feeling overworked and underappreciated?

Are you angry about a failed pandemic response that closed schools too late, and has failed to protect health and safety as we returned to work?

Are you upset that your union is complicit in so many of these dangerous decisions?  

Are you wishing there were more counselors, teachers, social workers, librarians, related service providers, and  just educators altogether?

Are you angry that the union instead settled for modest influxes of funds that can’t be spent on hiring long-term non unionized employees?

Are you angry about all the backroom deals, givebacks, and weakness on school segregation, healthcare, and standardized testing?

What about failing to file any grievances from rank-and-file members for almost 18 months while our rights, health, safety, pay, and overall power and respect in schools were under attack by a school bureaucracy that constantly disrespects the New York City community?

Do you wish our union would actually listen to us and organize us towards acting for change? It’s been proven to work in LA, Chicago, West Virginia, and many more regions. The opposite approach has been followed by our current union leaders. This spring, we have a choice for what union we can have.

We don’t want to settle anymore. Back to normal won’t be good enough. It never was good enough.

This spring, vote for A Better Union [placeholder phrase- Our UFT can do more and be better.].

We stand for a new union leadership that reverses the damage done by our current leadership and charts a new path forward. We stand for………

1. PROTECTIONS FOR EDUCATORS: Approximately 40% of new teachers leave within their first few years. Many of these teachers reach out to use and explain that they are being discontinued or are resigning because of the toxic work environments in their schools. If a young teacher is able to make it to tenure by “escaping” to a different school, often their probation is extended an extra year or too. Unity allowed the DOE to extend tenure to four years with extensions, if desired by principals. We need to bring back the three-year probationary period for all teachers. Unity has allowed pensions to be weakened through a 62 retirement age and continual staff contributions (Tier 6). We will support better pensions by restoring 30 year and age 55 retirements, with ten year vesting and an end to staff contributions at that time.
2. LOWERED CLASS SIZES: NYC public schools are fully funded and there is no reason why schools cannot earmark funds to reduce class sizes for the 2021-22 School Year. The City Council is proposing a bill that would reduce class size in schools starting in 2022 and continuing gradually over three more years.
3. ANTI-PRIVATIZATION (REGARDING HEALTH CARE AND CHARTERS): No private businesses or profit-motives in our schools, our union, or our benefits.
4. A MILITANT UNION- Taylor Law is contrary to Human Rights Law. We need a union who will empower its members by adding back the 'strike power,' which has been used successfully by educators in many other cities/states, by fighting to amend the Taylor Law.
5. RESPECT: Fair pay for all underpaid educators, including but not limited to paraprofessionals, school secretaries, and therapists. Hire more full-time classroom teachers and school counselors, instead of funding long-time substitute positions and allowing corporate outsourcing of related services. Full benefits and protections for all UFT members. Restore the right to grieve letters in the file and add a victim-centered definition of harassment to the contract. Add protections against retaliatory observations. Restore the culture of educators being able to apply for and receive sabbaticals and realistically expecting to be approved.
6. STAFF AND SUPPORT: More counselors and social workers, teachers and librarians, therapists and secretaries. These must be negotiated into our contract and made part of state law via caseload and class size caps, through concerted and aggressive action with statewide coalitions.
7. EMPOWERMENT: More emphasis on rank-and-file organizing in chapters and districts that focuses on knowing the contract and fighting for stronger contracts. No more top-down placating in our union. We want cuts to the salaries of upper management union bureaucrats and we want our dues, COPE dollars ^[a]and power reinjected into organizing rank-and-file members and chapters.
8. AUTONOMY AND EQUITY: End mayoral control. More worker control in schools and community control of the city school districts. Work with city and state communities, families, parents, and students to bargain for the common good. End school admissions segregation and standardized tests now. End the school-to-prison pipeline in New York City. Teachers should have control over their own curriculum and be given resources to make liberatory lessons that center student experience and provide culturally relevant and real-world context for the skills and knowledge they are learning. Fight for oversight powers, instead of just consultative tasks, to C30 committees and to make district executive positions elected by communities. Encourage more informal peer-to-peer classroom visits and lower the amount of evaluative classroom observations.
9. HEALTH AND SAFETY: Our union and city both failed us during this pandemic. Health and safety must be priorities permanently going forward. No more givebacks on healthcare and safety protocols. We want stronger contractual enforcement tools and more nurses, doctors, and other healthcare staff and resources to establish the 21st century schools we need, green-friendly and free of lead, asbestos, and other contaminants. These are our schools and we won’t let learning take place in dangerous conditions ever again.  

Educators of New York City: Let’s make a change in our union leadership. This spring, vote for A Better Union [placeholder phrase].

[a]This is money specifically set aside to give the UFT some political clout via endorsing candidates.  Are you suggesting we get out of politics all together and never endorse political candidates?  That may make us less appealing to those politicians who hold sway over educational policy in the city.