Monday, December 22, 2008

Time To Get Kinky

...feelin scared, hidden cameras everywhere
Stop! hold on. stay in control

Something weird is going on the last two weeks. Feel as if I am being watched.

cause theres a red, under my bed
And theres a little yellow man in my head
And theres a true blue inside of me

I see him everywhere. He stops. He walks by.

Paranoia, the destroyer.

The last two weeks every time Numb Nuts sees me talking to a student or a teacher he makes it so obvious. He changes direction, tries to see what is going on. Why I wonder?

She said, man, theres really something wrong with you.
One day you're gonna self-destruct.

No, this is demented. he doesn't even know how to be subtle in his eavesdropping.

You blowing it all with paranoia
You're so insecure you self-destroyer

Maybe if Numb Nuts felt more secure, maybe if he didn't have a mentor that comes in 3X a week after being an administrator he wouldn't follow me and listen in on me.

Theres a red, under my bed
And theres a little green man in my head
And he said, you're not goin crazy, you're just a bit sad
cause theres a man in ya, knawin ya, tearin ya into two.

I got a Numb Nuts attached to me. Following me. Watching me. Gnawing me. But stay away from my bed please.

Just remember Numb Nuts........
wreck your health
Destroy friends, destroy yourself
The time device of self-destruction
Light the fuse and start eruption

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Chosen One

It's official. There was white smoke seen from the school's chimney. Today, pending any unforeseen happenings, the interim acting title has been removed and the third, yes you read that right, third assistant principal in our school of about 500 has been anointed. I hope I am wrong. I hope the C-30 committee was able to see the light. I guess we will find out tomorrow.

The Chosen One had been an AP, both acting interim, on two previous occasions in my school. Two years ago The Chosen One quit after a month because The Chosen One got the ten month gig and returned to the classroom. Last year The Chosen One was IA for the entire year only to learn The Chosen One was excessed and had to return to the classroom. John Deacon comes in and presto! The Chosen One licks up the excrement that John Deacon spews and is now sitting pretty. Just proves that the third time is the charm.

Think about how lucky The Chosen One is. The third time as AP, the third AP. Things that come in three are good. Think about it. Chip, Ernie, and Robbie. Moe, Larry and Curly. Tinker, Evers and Chance. Groucho, Harpo and Chico. The list is endless. If I were The Chosen One I would play all 3's tomorrow.

I must leave now. But I have written a song for The Chosen One. It goes to the tune of Lionel Ritchie's Three Times a Lady.

Thanks for the times
That you've given us
The questions are all in our heads
And now that we've come
To the end of the process
Theres something
We must say out loud
You're once, twice
Three times an AP
Yes you're once twice
Three times an AP

When we are working
What you do we wonder
With every ounce of our brains
To see you to know you
To feel that you sold it
Theres no soul left in you
You're once twice
Three times an AP

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Manhandling What Is Right

Thursday, December 11, 2009. Numb Nuts in order to punish, correct, the behavior of Ba Ba Booey in the cafeteria made the student clean the cafeteria. Is this not corporal punishment? I know that as a teacher that we can't make a student write repetitively, stand in one place for a long time, or cause undue duress.

Now, Ba Ba Booey's mom came in pissed to the hilt on Thursday. She went to meet with John Deacon, but John Deacon would not deal with her. John Deacon sent for Numb Nuts. Numb Nuts is the reason the mom is there. John Deacon is the leader of the school. Why is not John Deacon being a leader?

But there are bigger questions. Why is Numb Nuts unable to control a lunch room that consists of only three, yes THREE, classes? It is not as if he is alone. He does have several aides to assist him. But here is the more serious question and one that will never, ever be answered. How many corporal punishment allegations need to be made against Numb Nuts for someone to see the light? When will something be done? When a student is seriously injured? If that is when, it will be too late.

As mentioned earlier, The Big O is in the rubber room for accidentally having his hand come in contact with a student's face. The student was out of his seat. The Big O was teaching with back turned writing on the board. When The Big O turned around to reach for something, contact was made. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! He gets sent to the rubber room, but Numb Nuts continuously, and not by mistake, manhandles children and what happens to him? He gets rewarded like George Tenent, et al. did for leading us into a f***ed up war.

John Deacon really truly needs The Big O. Anything less and it is not real.

My Hand, Man!

My left hand.The hand that I write with, the hand that I throw with, the hand that eat with, the hand that I, oh never mind. TMI. Anyway on Thursday I was covering a class. A Certain Student, on advice of Mrs Met, suggested that I take him for a walk when he gets agitated. No problem. We walk around the school, try to get him refocused, etc... Now mind you this is a CTT class I am covering. On the way back to the class he takes off from me. No one to call in the school. So I follow him. He is in the class but as I open the door he pushes back on it. I am halfway in, and then turn my head to ask a student in the hall to return to class. At this moment A Certain Student closes the door on my left hand. Ouch. Sh**.

Still no one around to take care of A Certain Student. I, and the other teacher fill out occurance reports. I, since I had my hand slammed in a door, fill out an accident report. You would think that John Deacon would take some kind of interest in this fiasco. No. Grossberger is the one to fill out these reports. It will be interesting tomorrow if there is a number and if it was filed within 24 hours.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Too F**king Funny! Or Pathetic?

The ineptitude of Numb Nuts just continues to grow.

Want to know what happened today?

Are you sure?

A warning. If you have issues with bladder control go to the bathroom now.

Or go to the closet and put on your Depends.

Also, remove all beverages from your mouth. We wouldn't want it shooting out your nose, would we?

I will wait while you do these things.



OK ready? Here we go. Today a student in a lower grade smacked his teacher in her face. The teacher, Tin Foil Girl promptly brought him to Numb Nuts office. Now this is not the first time the teacher has been met with violence. A student once threw a chair at her head and connected. Both these student fall under the auspicies of Numb Nuts. What was Numb Nuts solution to these problems?

Numb Nuts sent the boy back to class today, and the other one as well. In fact Tin Foil Girl has given, or at least attempted to give, Numb Nuts five incident reports. But Numb Nuts either refuses to accept them or does not file them. Seems that is an illegal act. But he is above the law, he is an administrator.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Tweed, Another One For You All!

Pay attention. Watch. Learn. Feel what we feel.

Incident Report

An incident report is filed by a teacher whenever there is some sort of serious incident. Usually a fight, an assault upon a teacher, etc... The union wishes us to file one for everything and generally I and other teachers have no problem with doing so. There is a catch. The principal has 24 hours from the time of the incident to report it, and when it is reported a control number is given.

What this does is it leaves an all important paper trail. What it also does is makes the principal do what a cockroach does when the lights are turned on. It scurries away. The principal does not wish for this kind of attention. It does not bode well for them. So what do they do?

Incident reports are buried. And in my school they seem to be deep under the lush carpeting of reality. I can think of at least eight incident reports that have been filed. These range from teacher assaults, to student on student assault, to first graders making out, to a five year old masturbating, to threats upon staff. Not one teacher has received a control number. Go figure.

Suffice it to say, one would have to assume that the incident reports were never filed. Can't prove it, but come on it just seems so obvious. I guess it is a good thing John Deacon is a principal because why else would John Deacon think John Deacon is above the law?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Lawbreaking 101

Hey. Guess what? Another law is being broken. Or at least it is being seriously bent. Remember that 2nd grade CTT (collaborative team teaching) class I have mentioned in the past. The one that has 15 special ed. students as opposed to 6 general ed. students. Yeah, you know the one. Do your math. DOes that come out to the 60/40 split of general ed. to special ed.? No, and I am not a mathematician and I was able to figure that out. So you ask what is going on with this?

Gladys the IEP bag lady is on the case! But it seems are method is somewhat unorthodox, if not somewhat treyf. Gladys, and I am sure this is coming from above, wants to decertify enough special ed. students so that the ratio would be the lawful 60/40 split. Hey this is great. But the problem is that these students are not able or ready to be decertified and and not only does Gladys no it, but the assistant principal for that grade knows it as well. And can you guess whom the AP is? Yes! It is Numb Nuts.

They are pressuring the teacher to decertify these students. They are doing an end run around the PPT team, and education law so they can cover their asses. I guess they are infected with the children first doctrine so bad they really feel the need to show it. Oh, for those who don't get it, I am being sarcastic.

So there you have it. Another shining example of the students being thought of first and what is best for them. Oy vey!

Friday, December 5, 2008

A Mistake On My Part

Several weeks ago I wrote how The Dude had his shirt torn by Numb Nuts. You can read more about it here. It seems I did not have the entire story, and for that I apologize. It is worse.

The Dude was being The Dude out in the yard. Numb Nuts grabbed The Dude by his forearm and led The Dude approximately 200 feet from the yard to the cafeteria. Whilst holding onto the aforementioned forearm The Dude noticed that his fingers were turning blue and that "pins and needles" feeling in his hand. I am not a medical doctor nor a scientist but to the layperson this seems to indicate some sort of loss of circulation to the hand. The Dude feeling uncomfortable attempted to pull away and Numb Nuts did not let go which then resulted in the tearing of The Dude's shirt and The Dude falling to the ground. The Dude immediately reported this to John Deacon who at no time asked the nurse to check on The Dude and then the subsequent cover up of the incident. Oh one more thing. There was another student there being held as well by Numb Nuts, The Detroit Lions Kid. I wonder if John Deacon got a statement from this child. I doubt it.

So there you have it. Numb Nuts is still there. No OSI investigation, no Rubber Room, no nothing. Meanwhile The Big O is in the Rubber Room because he accidentally touched his hand to the face of another student. Go figure.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Numb Nuts Gave Professional Development

Numb Nuts presented a mind numbing professional development yesterday during faculty conference time on Bloom's Taxonomy and differentiated instruction in lesson plans in accordance with any special needs students that are in our classes. At least that is what I understood it to be when I was not excitedly thinking of the colonoscopy without any anesthetic I am scheduled for at the end of the month. It was amazing how even when plagiarizing the material what a clear concise f**k up he is. Better, while having John Deacon watch him whilst taking notes, he still screws it up. But we are not hear to bury Caesar, we are here to critique him. I have given many professional development seminars in the past I feel I am able to objectively give the skinny on Numb Nuts.

1. Always be on time
Duh! This is easy. Being ten minutes late to PD that is only scheduled to be forty minutes does not make you look good. it just reinforces everyones beliefs that you are a incompetent imbecile. You are not Liza needing to make a grand entrance. You are Numb Nuts and need to be there on time. The rest of the staff was. Why weren't you? In fact you should be there as staff is assembling.

2. Be prepared
That means have everything set up before hand. This includes having your laptop, handouts, and sign-in sheet already available and present at the beginning of the session, not as an after thought once you arrive.

3. Know how to use PowerPoint
This is a pet peeve of mine. People think it is cool that they know how to use PowerPoint. The have the cool backgrounds, make the text do really neat things. Bollocks! PowerPoint is there to enhance your presentation, not take it over. Kind of like using Lowry's when you cook. With PowerPoint you want to be succinct and to the point with your text. What you should be doing is highlighting your ideas; bulleting as it were. Not copying and pasting of what you find online and having everyone read it. That is plagiarism. It is illegal. It is also unoriginal. The bullets support what is spewing forth from your mouth.

4. Know your material
You are clueless. You are just regurtitating what you have read online. Like a mama bird feeding her babies. The only differences are the mama bird serves a purpose, is loved, and respected.

5. Stop the empty compliments
It's the true sign of phoniness. You do it with the students, don't do it with grown ups. We don't seek your approval, only seeing you drive over the Triboro (RFK) Bridge never to return. Or at least finally held accountable. Or to stop dragging students by the arms through the hallway. Or to stop being such a phony. Or to get a clue. Or to get laid. Or to have some humility.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Goodbye to The Big O

The Big O is toast. He was sent to the Rubber Room today for a corporal punishment allegation. Notice the key word there? Allegation. This is the second teacher that happens to have a ding dong that has been sent to the Rubber Room thus far in this three month school year. Looks like the only way to not incur John Deacon's wrath if you are a male at my school is to become a eunuch.

I find it funny that The Big O is being sent away on an alleged charge. But I can see why. The Big O has been elusive to John Deacon. In fact I doubt if John Deacon has ever had the pleasure of truly knowing The Big O. John Deacon might think John Deacon knows The Big O, but it was a faux Big O, not the real Big O. I think if John Deacon took the time to relax, become more familiar with how The Big O works, John Deacon would have been a lot more relaxed and smiled quite more often. John Deacon is now left to having to finger around in the dark looking for The Big O in all the wrong places.

Has anyone noticed the irony here? The incompetence, the hypocrisy, the corporal punishment allegedly committed by others continues to go unabated, unchecked, unnoticed, uncalled for. Numb Nuts can drag students through the hall, tear students shirts and what happens? Nothing. The administration can pressure a mother to sign off on her child's IEP and this is considered ethical? John Deacon can break every state education law, violate chancellor's regulations and nothing happens. If teachers, especially tenured ones, are not allowed to make mistakes or errors what then of administrators? The principals were given all this power, all this freedom. Fine. But who is watching them? Where is the oversight? Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Farting Can Be Harmful To Your Career

Flatulence is a big no-no in school. Well, at least in my school. Seems a teacher didn't fart in the proscribed Department of Education manner last week and John Deacon needed to take care of this formally and requested a meeting between the farter and chapter leader.

In the meeting the farter had explained that farting whilst lifting a buttocks cheek is incorrect and against Chancellor's Regulations. It was explained that when one farts, one should keep both buttocks cheeks firmly planted on the seat so it will be more dainty and the sound will be muffled by not only the chair, but by the underpants as well. This also tends to keep the odor localized and less people are affected by the smell. By lifting the buttocks cheek the stench tends to affect more people and the sound is several decibels higher.

The farter attempted to apologize for the fart that so annoyed and dismayed John Deacon and apologized profusely for the improper cutting of the cheese and promised that henceforth all farts will properly executed with all due respect to DOE protocol. The farter also promised that beans and broccoli will be off the breakfast menu.

That was not good enough for John Deacon. John Deacon explained that as a tenured teacher the farter is not due any room for error, nor is allowed mistakes. John Deacon explained that if the farter was a new teacher time would have been taken to explain how to fart in a correct manner.

It is a wonder that will all the crap (pardon the pun!) going on in my school that John Deacon can not let a silly thing like improper farting go. This shows how petty a person John Deacon really is, and where John Deacon's priorities are.

I wonder how John Deacon feels about those that queef.