BREAKING NEWS!!!! SBSB HAS SNEAK PEAK AT NEW CONTRACT!

Remember the book Logan's Run? Seems that Joel Klein is a fan of the book, and in the new contract him and Mike Mulgrew have decided to implant a crystal in all new teacher's palms.

In an exclusive SBSB interview with Joel Klein, the chancellor says, "The seeds of the Teacher War were planted in a restless strike of 1968, with picket lines and selfishness. By the late 1970s over 40 percent of the teachers in NYC were over 40 of years of age. The teachers continued to age — and with it the percentage.In the 1980s the figure was 55.8 percent.In the 1990s, 60.9 percent. In the year 2009 — critical mass."

According the the new contract which SBSB has seen a leaked copy, a new teacher will have his or her crystal set at yellow. Once the teacher receives tenure, or after three years, whichever comes first, his or her crystal will then become blue. After maxing out at step 8b the teacher's crystal will become red. Once a teacher hits L15 or turns forty the the crystal will start blinking red/black letting the teacher know that the end time has come. This will be known as Rubber Day.

When teachers reach Rubber Day they are to report to what will be known as the Rubber Shop. Once there, they willfully enter the Rubber Room, not to be seen of, nor spoken of again.

There is also a provision for teachers who refuse to report to the Rubber Shop. The DOE will employ what will be known as "Deep Rubber Operative", or "Rubberman." These operatives will have special weapons, such as perjured testimony at their disposal to force these teachers into the Rubber Shop. Also, they will employ a special new martial art called "Omnite."

But there might be hope. Sources have told SBSB that there will be Sanctuary for those who want to avoid the Rubber Shop. At press time, Sanctuary will be deep inside any administrator's colon. Or Mike Mulgrew's colon.

I am not buying this for a second. Sanctuary is not inside a colon. Sanctuary is unity amongst the teachers of NYC. We need to stick together and fight as one against aschimothusia.