SOUTH BRONX SCHOOL: Underpants

Monday, May 10, 2010

Underpants


SBSB has learned that a 47 year veteran teacher has been sent to the Brooklyn Rubber Room. His infraction? So horrifying, that children and the elderly are advised not to continue reading this.

The infraction? A split inseam. Yes, you read correctly. The teacher in question, a male teacher of over seventy years of age, and quite zaftig was removed for having a split inseam in his trousers.

Apparently the split inseam was in the upper thigh region of the trousers exposing the fabric of the accused boxer shorts. No naughty bits were ever exposed. In fact due to the size of the teacher he was not aware of it until it was brought to his attention.

The day this teacher was sent to the Rubber Room he was ordered by his principal to bring his class to the auditorium where another teacher was waiting. The teacher was told to report to the principal's office and there he learned that he was being removed and sent to the Rubber Room for he had exposed himself.

It didn't matter that the teacher in question was more than willing to go to a tailor and have the inseam fixed. It didn't matter that the girth of of the teacher made it nearly impossible for any bits to be hanging out, loose, or flapping in the breeze. All that was seen was his boxers.

If this is something to be sent to the Rubber Room for, then all female teachers need to watch out for cleavage. I have seen enough cleavage from teachers that leaves nothing to the imagination over the years.

One thing I don't understand. If this teacher had exposed himself, what is he doing in the Rubber Room? Why hasn't he been suspended the ninety days without pay, and why has he not been arrested? I have the answer. Because no one ever saw his doodle, and his doodle was where it should be. Same goes with the beans.

The crack team here at SBSB will continue looking into this matter and will pass along any updated information.

Fortunately the crack team here at SBSB has located a video of the principal explaining to a DOE higher up the quandary that she is in.

2 comments:

primadonna said...

Porky's?

Anonymous said...

Par for the course..rather than tell him he has a split in his pants send him off to the rubber room? What the heck will they charge him with or is this just a bullying tactic to get him to retire? If I were the old codger I would take my rubber room jaunt and a handful of zanex and chill and burn some sick days (say two a week) just for the joy of reading the charges. "Teaching with unknowingly ripped trousers" is less serious than "teaching while gifting rubber plant".