It is getting goofier by the day at The Happy Good Time Emotion Response Place and School. No one, not even the good Lord himself can make this shit up.
PBIS (Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports) system. The key to this system is the card. A student starts at neutral (white), they do well and the student gets a green then a blue card, and when you are a bad child you go from yellow to red. Got it?
The problem is twofold. One, the students who get to red on a consistent basis, and there are plenty don't give a shit, that no matter how often their card lands on red it ain't gonna change a thing. Two, what are the consequences of getting on red? The students who are from the above group supposedly get a phone call home but these are the students of the parents who do jack as parents anyway so what is the purpose of the red card and the phone call?
So today at The Happy Good Time Emotion Response Place and School a class of over hyper 4th graders just after lunch went to their specialty class out of control. Oh, and with their portable (from their homeroom) PBIS (Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports) card system.
First, Izzy Rabinowitz was screaming at the teacher, cursing the teacher and telling the teacher to go to hell. The reason for this was the teacher had promised punitive measures to Izzy that if he did not stay on line and discontinue his abhorrent behavior towards the other students and the teacher. Luckily for this teacher, a concerned non pedagogue took pity and seperated Izzy from the rest of the class.
Meanwhile Izzy's best friend, Shecky Green annoyed that he was facing the same consequences as Izzy due to his bad behavior started having a tantrum and throwing chairs in the classroom and threatening to hit other students with a yard stick.
The teacher, following proper protocol for The Happy Good Time Emotion Response Place and School, notified the office so the ROD (Responder on Duty and this will be explained in another blog post) will whisk these two students away. The person on the other end of the line recommended that the teacher call a quite high up, but not the highest up upper echelon type person to respond. The teacher promptly did.
What follows is the truly from the files of "you can't make this shit up."
Teacher: Shecky is throwing chairs, threatening students with a yard stick.
The quite high up, but not the highest up upper echelon type: Did you change Shecky's card to red?
Teacher: He came into the class with his card on red, there is no other card to put him on except double secret red.
The quite high up, but not the highest up upper echelon type: Did you try other strategies to keep him from throwing the chairs?
Teacher: Yes, I asked him nicely and said please.
The quite high up, but not the highest up upper echelon type: (frustrated sigh) I'll be right there.
There you have it. There is no way, no how, no chance this shit can be made up.
I wonder (as I rub my chin looking skyward) does this happen in Scarsdale? Does a version of The Happy Good Time Emotion Response Place and School exist in Chappaqua? I wonder.