Principal Ron Smolkin Gets Advice From Steve Martin

Another, yet a same, principal is in the news today for attempting to destroy a teacher's life and career. The New York Post reported today that Principal Ron Smolkin of Independence High School put fraudulent material in a teacher's file supposedly written by a parent. Recall, this is the same principal that wrote a teacher's co-op board in which a claim of pedophilia was lodged against the

teacher and his partner.

Too often, in fact, all the time in my opinion, a principal will and can get away with whatever he or she wants to short of murder, and even then, only if they find a weapon with prints.

But it got me to thinking about that old Steve Martin bit from the 70's. You know, the one in which he says that two simple words can get you out of any jam you're in.

You.. can be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes! You can be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes! You say.. "Steve.. how can I be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes?" First.. get a million dollars. Now.. you say, "Steve.. what do I say to the tax man when he comes to my door and says, 'You.. have never paid taxes'?" Two simple words. Two simple words in the English language: "I forgot!"

Well in NYC, three simple words in the English language can get you out of anything, any jam. "I'm the  principal."

Let's see if this theory can work for principals.

Lie? "I'm the principal."

Hide a vacancy on the Open Market system and give the vacancy to a first year teacher with zero experience and get caught? "I'm the principal."

Allow an AP of yours to do scheduling from home without using a time card and not reviewing actual hours worked and give that AP weeks of comp time? "I'm the principal."

Contribute to the death of an AP? "I'm the principal."

Cover up corporal punishment reported by a teacher in regard to one of the principals favorites?"I'm the principal."

Send a nascent, ignorant AP to write a teacher up for uttering the word shit in school when the school year has yet to start and  no kids are in school? "I'm the principal."

Offer no curriculum to the students? "I'm the principal."

Yell and scream and berate a teacher? "I'm the principal."

Write up a teacher for passing gas in violation of the prescribed NYC DOE method? "I'm the principal."

 Use a failed method of teaching reading and writing from a vendor in which also employs you? "I'm the principal."

Send a teacher to the rubber room because they were carrying a Coca Cola in their hand? "I'm the principal."

Charge a teacher with professional misconduct because they had a cup of coffee in their hand? "I'm the principal."

Tell a teacher that proudly announced she was pregnant to use condoms? "I'm the principal."

 Fail to give a teacher proper training in a program and then blame that teacher for not properly implementing said program? "I'm the principal."

Tell female teachers of your school that you wish to stick your ding dong into the copier and holes in the wall? "I'm the principal."

 Favor your sycophants with loads of per session while those with independent minds fail to get any per session? "I'm the principal."

 Tell OSI that you want to "get that teacher?" "I'm the principal."

Never worked in education before and went to leadership academy to become principal? "I'm the principal."

Blame others for your incompetence?  "I'm the principal."

Don't support your teachers in discipline issues? "I'm the principal."

Don't walk the walk? "I'm the principal."

Just clueless? "I'm the principal."

Belief in the fact you might be some deity brought forth by mystical powers? "I'm the principal."

Seriously, any of the above, will it be tolerated in Harrison? In Scarsdale? In Dobbs Ferry? In  Poughkeepsie? No. But in NYC, this prevails.

Again, this shit can't be made up.