New York State and EngageNY Advocate Child Abuse

From the files of "You Can't Make This Shit Up!" comes the new 1st grade ELA Learning and Listening strands.

Yeah, I know that there is supposed to be literacy used with this, but we are not sharing the books The Crack Team shared with the students while attempting to make some type of rhyme and reason with

this crap.

Our first student comes to us from Scotia NY. His name is Barry Rosenberg. Barry is in 1st grade and loved Kindergarten. The Crack Team at SBSB recorded and transcribed Barry's responses.


18. Compare and contrast (orally or in writing) similarities and differences within a single fiction read-aloud or between two or more fiction read-alouds;  

 My book that Ms Smith had is big, the two books, bigger

19. Write opinion pieces in which they introduce the topic or name the book they are writing about, state an opinion, supply a reason for the opinion, and provide some sense of closure;  

I poop my pants.

20. Plan, draft, and edit a narrative retelling of a fiction read-aloud, with a title, characters, some details regarding the plot, the use of temporal words to signal event order, and some sense of closure;  

My daddy uses temporal words when he see Obama on TV and another time when he burned his hand

21. With guidance and support from adults, focus on a topic, respond to questions and suggestions from peers, and add details to strengthen writing as needed;  

I have to make pee

22. With guidance and support from adults, use a variety of digital tools to produce and publish writing, including collaboration with peers;

I ate peers at lunch than i make a doody and I see the peers again.


And for those schools that still use that cult of learning from Lucy Calkins and Teachers College a 1st grade student, Chaim Rosenbaum, from an unnamed school on East 135th Street in the Bronx.

Remember, as before, the student either gave an adult the responses verbally or wrote the responses. In both cases a member of The Crack Team at SBSB transcribed the responses on tese pages, verbatim.

18. Compare and contrast (orally or in writing) similarities and differences within a single fiction read-aloud or between two or more fiction read-alouds;  

DFJSJDFuwfhHuq!!! gjojowoj ojojwofjwojf owjdfowjfwojwlldledlodlodol,l9378383jdcmsxhdf.

19. Write opinion pieces in which they introduce the topic or name the book they are writing about, state an opinion, supply a reason for the opinion, and provide some sense of closure;  

wdfqsfwfgafgeqgwegeg! GAGAGA$#@?()SHf

20. Plan, draft, and edit a narrative retelling of a fiction read-aloud, with a title, characters, some details regarding the plot, the use of temporal words to signal event order, and some sense of closure;  

 rfaaa

21. With guidance and support from adults, focus on a topic, respond to questions and suggestions from peers, and add details to strengthen writing as needed;  

peepee

22. With guidance and support from adults, use a variety of digital tools to produce and publish writing, including collaboration with peers;

cvbmoiofgfgffffffffffffffff