I just thought of the irony of this post. Today is April Fool's Day and the arrest of Francesco Portelos along with the reading of the complaint and arrest report should be a joke. In a way it is, but not really.
Both the NYPD and the NYCDOE should stop sniffing their own farts and stop thinking they live in some gilded tower in which they believe they hold sway above humanity.
Be warned. While reading the complaint and arrest report try to not have any liquids in your mouth. You will laugh so hard you are bound to spray all over your computer and/or device screen.
Mr White of the DOE, and no this is not a pseudonym, felt in fear for his safety. Perhaps Francesco was to unleash dozens of cute kittens upon the IT department of the DOE? What, Francesco was threatening him with Orzo? Notice the Greek reference? This is because the arresting officer, Barney Fife, er I meant, Detective Warren was under the impression that Francesco was Hispanic.
We do find out that Francesco has an MO (Modus Operandi). He asks question and send emails. EEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!! OOOOOOH, scary stuff.
Remember, the giveaway that Francesco's post was satirical was that the password to the payroll portal is; "KittensRCute."
Anyway, why spoil the reading? Go ahead, sit back and relax and read.