Shit That Can't Be Made Up: Part 3,456,900 (Will Corey Hart Write a Song About This?)

 I wish I could make this shit up. This is so inane. 

Last month there was a mass prep that I covered. It was a beautiful outside. What a gift for the students as well as the staff covering the prep. 

The sun was bright that morning as it was glistening off the artificial turf that afternoon. I wanted to be ready.

And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can, so I can
Keep track of the visions in my eyes

Thankfully, I was prepared. I had my sunglasses with me. I never had prescription sunglasses before. But I went on Zenni Optical and found a great pair with a retro look.

A kind of glamour
You can lend yourself
Like dark sunglasses

I left my regular glasses in a bag upstairs in a classroom. When the mass prep ended I walked back into the school, up the stairs and down the hall to retrieve my regular glasses. Let me let all in on something. The sun does not shine inside a school building. However, due to the fact that I can't see very good without either my glasses or my contact lenses I erred on the side of caution and left my sunglasses on. Ostensibly I did this for the sole reason not to walk into a wall, to walk into or on a student, and basically to see where I was going. 

And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can, so I can
See the light that's right before my eyes

 

As I am walking down the hall to the classroom where my glasses are awaiting me the nouveau junior administrator sees me and proclaims authoritatively ...

"Mr Zucker, teachers are not allowed to wear sunglasses inside."

She cuts my security
Has she got control of me?

 

I promptly replied that I was on my way to the classroom to get my glasses. Ten seconds after I gave that response I thought of a better. I should have immediately removed the sunglasses and walked face first into the wall. 

"But Pete," one reading this blog might ask, "Maybe she did not know that those sunglasses were prescription or that you were outside on a mass prep."

Yes, that is a lucid plausible argument to be made. However, I wear glasses every day so therefore should not one be able to infer that the sunglasses are prescription? Besides, if you are the nouveau junior administrator you should know when mass preps are scheduled. 

 

The Crack Team was quickly assembled and assigned to research Chancellor's Regs. The Crack Team unable to come across any regulation stating that teachers are forbidden from wearing sunglasses inside any NYC DOE building or property. The Crack Team also checked NYS DOE regulations and came up empty. 

 

One would assume that with everything going on within the schools of the NYC DOE a teacher walking down the hall, wearing sunglasses after being outside in the sun, would be way, way down on the priority list. 

 

I cry to you
I wear my sunglasses at night in school
I wear my sunglasses