SOUTH BRONX SCHOOL: Sparkles for 2016 UFT President

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Sparkles for 2016 UFT President

Sadly, I have to disagree with NYC Educator naming his dog, Julio, to run for UFT president. Yes, Julio is neither a sociopath nor a megalomaniac but aren't those qualities we, the 80,000 members of the UFT, truly looking for in a UFT president?

For those looking for a self centered, self absorbed, sociopath, megalomaniac, "me first", candidate for UFT president I want, nay I must, nominate my cat Sparkles as not only the nominee for MORE, but the presumptive UFT president as well come July 1, 2016.

Sparkles only has two interests in this world. Eating and sleeping. Oh and being UFT president. To get anything she will manipulate anyone, anytime, and anyhow.

When she is hungry she will come up and rub her head in in your hand or against your face. Never mind that she does this while you are sleeping but what does she care. She knows that you will melt for at that moment you think that you are the most important person in her life and you have no problem waking up at 5 AM to pop open that can of Friskies for her.

But don't cross her. For if you do not wake up when she wants you too she will jump up on top of your dresser and start knocking things off until you do wake up and just to be sure you are walking to the kitchen to feed her will nip at your feet as you walk.

Sleeping? That's something you better not mess with her. You come home from a hard day's work or it's bedtime and you want to lie down in bed. You set up the pillows, the blanket, maybe a book you lay down and turn around to do something and you know what? When you turn around there she is lying in your spot--already curled up sleeping-- and your only choice is to move her. But what does she do? She saunters back and bogarts that spot again. Remember, it's all about her.

Sparkles also likes to suck you in by turning on her back and exposing her belly to you. She acts all cute and purrs inviting you to come and rub her belly. But noooooooo. What happens as soon as you give her that belly rub? You will grab your hand and start biting it as she kicks your hand with her back feet. She's so sneaky.

I think what we need as a UFT president is a cat that only has their own intentions at heart. Sparkles is just the cat to lead the UFT for years to come.

Remember, when you UFT ballot comes, vote Sparkles for UFT president. She will be running with the rest of the MORE slate.


No comments: