We At SBSB Have Come Up With Three Plans to Reopen Schools

After listening to Mike Mulgrew in today's town hall I am more convinced than ever that there will be 100% remote learning come September. The DOE has no idea what it is doing. They are fucking it up for everyone. The way I see it the DOE is putting hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of lives at stake through their own ineptitude. A team with a brain damaged chimp can do better.

But never to worry. We here at SBSB are smarter than all the people put together at Tweed (yeah, the bar is low, but we do what we can). We have come up with a plan.

The Crack Team spent had a weekend retreat with several world renowned New York City teachers and Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp to come up with several plans to not only insure the safety of the students and staff, but to ensure that learning, real learning, will happen.

At the retreat we decided on three proposals to share on these pages with the rank and file. These plans are making their world premiere on this blog.


The Borg Plan©

This plan was heavily debated at this past weekend's retreat. We all agreed, and surprisingly so did Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp, that assimilating the students of New York City would not be a good thing. But as usual Zippy found a way.

Zippy suggested that we get Seven of Nine to come to the Bronx wearing her hottest outfit. Zippy's reasoning is that Seven of Nine while human, still has can tie into the Borg through the Borg implants she still has. The rest of us didn't want to ask why she must wear a hot outfit.

Anyhoo, Seven of Nine will use Borg technology to impart all knowledge on all the students of New York City. No cube, no assimilation, no explosions. Just putting knowledge into the students heads however the Borg do it.

The Monsters Inc Plan©

This one is simple and to the point.

Remember those guys that came through the windows when it was thought that there was contamination? They worked for the CDA (Child Contamination Agency).

The plan is to each student, each teacher, administrator, secretary, social worker, etc... get their own individual suit. Of course each suit will be free for everyone.

We all saw how good those suits work against any child contamination. Think how good those suits will do against COVID-19!

The Get Smart Plan©

My favorite plan. The Crack Team's favorite plan. The favorite plan of the world renowned NYC teachers. But not Zippy's favorite plan.

We break into CONTROL's headquarters and steal the famed Cone of Silence. Once it is brought back to the Bronx, Zippy the Brain Damaged Chimp reverse engineers the cone and removes the silence mechanism from it and adds a germ killer aspect to it, or at the very least a germ preventer. And instead of each cone being for two people, each cone is for one individual.

Once Zippy does his part, we send the plans out to a local manufacturer where these "Cones of Germ Safety" will be made and distributed for free.

Once in the hands of students and staff schools will reopen with everyone having a "Cone of Germ Safety" around them.

Those are our three proposals. We here at SBSB would like to hear from anyone and everyone with their thoughts and which plan is favored. Please leave your comments.