SOUTH BRONX SCHOOL: Abbott and Costello Meet the Teacher Data Reports

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Abbott and Costello Meet the Teacher Data Reports

It had to happen. The farcical world of Abbott and Costello has hit the NYC DOE.

Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York. You know NYC DOE Chancellor Dennis Walcott gave me a job at Tweed as long as you are a teacher.
Costello: Look Abbott, if you're at Tweed, you must know how the Teacher Data Reports work.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: Well you know I've never read mine. So you'll have to tell me my rating and then I'll know how I am doing
Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you your rating, but you know it seems to me they give these teachers now-a-days very ratings.
Costello: You mean funny ratings?
Abbott: Strange ratings names, like Shitty, Great, Sucks, Good
Costello: Oh and….?
Abbott: Poor. But the NYC DOE and an economist have solved those names with better names.
Abbott: Well, let's see, we have as ratings for teachers, Highly Effective, Effective, Developing…..
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: What did I say, Highly Effective, Effective, Developing…..
Costello: Are you the principal? What do these ratings mean?
Abbott: No, I am not the principal.
Costello: What are you?
Abbott: Just a nameless bureaucrat
Costello: And you don't know what the ratings mean?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then am I a highly effective teacher based on my ELA TDR reports published in the New York Times of February 24?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: So you think I am highly effective.
Abbott: No.
Costello: I’m not. I’m a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad boy!
Abbott: Yes, you are not. There is a +/- rating of 75% according to Yoav Gonan of The New York Post
Costello: So The Times gave me a 85%. So what am I now?
Abbott: Screwed. Among the worst in NYC you are down to 10%
Costello: So I’m…..?
Abbott: Ineffective!
Costello: Wait, I have The Times here. The Times says the +/- is 50% for ELA so I am no longer ineffective.
Abbott: That's not true.
Costello: OK, I’m effective?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's effective?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Look, how do you say that I am effective? First you say I am ineffective, than developing, now………
Abbott: Highly Effective.
Costello: What?
Abbott: In Math.
Costello: How am I highly effective in Math?
Abbott: You got a score of 35 right.?
Costello: Right!
Abbott: The Yoav Gonen +/- margin of error in math is 60%.Costello: The guy that gets...
Costello: So now I am highly effective...
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: Do these score accurately show what kind of teacher I am
Abbott: Yes. What's wrong with that?
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is are the scores accurate.
Abbott: What.
Costello: The scores
Abbott: Why
Costello: So I know I will have a job, so I know what kind of teacher I am.
Abbott: You have the scores; figure it out your self.
Costello: Yes
Abbott: So you are, as long as you fall into the margin of error.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is how can I be all over the place with my ratings
Abbott: You can
Costello: Can what?
Abbott: Be effective, highly effective, ineffective and developing all at once.
Costello: One rating at a time
Costello: Let me ask you this,
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy, but OK
Costello: I'm only asking you, several of my students moved into the school a week before the tests
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Ok.
Abbott: All right.
Costello: So how can I be rated on what I taught these students.
Abbott: You can.
Costello: I can?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Why?
Abbott: They’re your students.
Costello: But they were my students for a week. The came from ANOTHER state!!!
Abbott: Were they on your roster?
Costello: Abbott……
Abbott: Yes Costello……
Costello: As a teacher I have one thing to say.
Abbott: What's that?
Costello: The DOE is doing everything it can to make me not give a darn and retire.
Abbott: That’s exactly what we want to do.

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