Does Bill Grundfest Love Collies?

Oh the last 24 hours has been fun. Last night, I wrote a response to Campbell Brown's WSJ column in which she has quoted RheeFirst sycophant Michael Loeb. Then today, failed writer, Bill Grundfest decided to chime in on what little he knows of the United States Constitution, the 14th Amendment, due process, and of course, education.

Originally I had wished to give Bill a public civics lesson on why government employees are afforded due process and private sector employees are not. But after discussing it with my cat, she informed me that the lesson would be way over Bill's head and that I was better off saving the lesson when school starts and to use it on a Kindergarten class come this September.

Now, you may ask, what is a Bill Grundfest? Bill, is a TV writer, producer, former 660 WNBC jock or whatever that suckles at the teat of Ben Austin, Steve Barr, and those deformers in Los Angeles. Let's not forget that Bill is friends with, and quite possibly roommates in the future, with Anthony Krinsky. Need we say more?

I had Bill on my radio show, in fact twice, a few years back, and I once wrote a rather stern, yet polite, blog post about how misguided he is. But there was something in my writings, that I did not recall nor put together until today.

Apparently, Bill is a teacher. Not just at his own for profit minded podcast "I can teach you how to write like me" place on the web, but also at UCLA as well. Wow, Bill is a teacher. Of course, the Crack Team wonders if Bill teaches writing, how does UCLA measure whether or not he is an effective teacher and what makes him so if he is.

However, the Crack Team has found it ironic that not only might Bill be part of another union (Bill is a member of the WGA), but since he works for a government entity in UCLA is he afforded the rights of due process?

Let's say for instance a big Hollywood star wants to take one of Bill's writing classes. Let's say, hmmm, Lassie is in his class. Now Lassie wants to write a screenplay. She feels that for some reason Bill is just the one do teacher her.

Since Lassie lacks fingers she can't type and is falling behind in class. Frustrated, she goes home and tells Timmy that Bill touched her inappropriately and called her a bitch. Timmy, and his mom, June Lockhart immediately go to the provost of UCLA and demand that Bill be terminated, if not criminally charged.

Thanks to the fact that Bill is afforded due process, a proper investigation is duly authorized. While being investigated, Bill though removed from the classroom, continues to receive his pay, and if a member of a union, is afforded representation at every step.

Soon, a hearing is held. Bill is allowed to not only allowed to confront the evidence and witnesses against him, but is allowed not only legal representation, but an unbiased arbiter to hear his case.

Soon Bill is exonerated. It comes out in the hearings that Lassie allowed herself to be knocked up by Butch the Bulldog from the Tom and Jerry cartoons and was ashamed and felt she had to claim that Bill was the father of her soon to be born pups.

Thanks to he United States Constitution, the 14th Amendment, and various other rights, Bill is a free man and not marked with the shame of having to marry Lassie.

Now, if Bill does not still understand why he was allowed the rights afforded all those that live in the USA, I can get a 5 year old to explain it to him next month.