SOUTH BRONX SCHOOL: Can A Chimp Write Better Than Whitney Tilson Of Tilson Funds?

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Can A Chimp Write Better Than Whitney Tilson Of Tilson Funds?

My eyes! My freaking eyes! I wasn't supposed to look. But I did. it was inadvertent, just as when Mr Spock looked at the Medusan ambassador Kallos and was driven insane.

What is this horror that I had witnessed? The Huffington Post, the online paper that I love to read, the owner, Arianna Huffington, that I secretly lust after has as a blogger none other than Whitney Tilson.

It started last week with his posting about how wonderful Joel Klein was to NYC schools. That was laughable enough. But just yesterday he decided to take no prisoners. Once again, Whitney decided to take on Diane Ravitch and rebutting her take on Teach For America. I saw the title and thought what joy I would have in taking apart Whitney's convoluted thinking. But something stopped me.

This dribble came in at 2,524 words! Yes, you read that right. After banging my head against the desk I gave up about a quarter of the way through his article. What was I to do? How can I comment or mock what Whitney wrote? His article was not just only so, so long. But convoluted, specious, and spastic.

The crack team here at SBSB came up with a solution. We fed Whitney's column to the XD-3000 computer and it condensed his writing to a single paragraph. Not only was it much more readable, but we were also able to get the true meaning of the point Whitney was trying to get across.
Me, me, me, me. Look at me. It is all about me. I am so wonderful and knowledgeable. Aren't you just enamored with how wonderful I think I am? I am all about me, myself, and I. Me, me, me , me. Mine, mine, mine. I need attention, I need acknowledgment. I am the center of all things known to mankind.
There you have it. Whitney's essence.

But, let's give credit where credit is due. The blogger, rdsathene of the Solidaridad blog put Whitney's writing so eloquently in perspective;
I suppose the best part of watching a predatory hedge fund manager try to rebut the most celebrated education historian in our nation is that we are witness to how the right wing's obsession with Ayn Rand's ideas (competition, rewards, etc.) are pervasive in all their discourse.

I've never seen a less cogent, flailing, amateurish essay. I was trying to count the straw men and non sequiturs, but ran out of patience. It's funny that finance capitalist­s like this talk about top college graduates. If the above screed is indicative of their lack of critical thinking skills, it's no wonder they cleave to standardiz­ed tests so much.

Beautiful. Well said.

As far as me, I find it sad and pathetic that a graduate of Harvard does not know how to write.


Nancy Flanagan said...

Makes you wonder about Whitney's Yale education, doesn't it?

Still--comment, comment, comment.

The Perimeter Primate said...

Thanks for the mid-day laugh!

Here's what I wrote about WT in 2009.

Robert D. Skeels * rdsathene said...

I'm flattered that my humble prose would find its way here. ¡La lucha sigue y sigue!

Pete Zucker said...

A comment as eloquent yours certainly deserves to be spotlighted.

Anonymous said...

Good grief! He's Yale educated?

BTW, You should try reading Kelly Amis' anti-Ravitch blog. "The Ravitch Factor".