Pest Control

Gnats. Ants. Locusts. Any and all unwanted pests. How to get rid of such creatures?

You could hire a pest eradicator, but that could cost millions of dollars, take many years, and still not eradicate the unwanted pest. But there are ways to get rid of the pest. We here at the SBSB laboratories have tested several inexpensive pest removal systems and though we are not recommending any particular removal process, we are sure that any of the methods you choose can yield positive results. But remember, persistence is the key.

1. Call 311. This is always a good way to go at first. If the city knows that an unwanted pest is still around enough phone calls to the NYC "hotline" might eradicate your pest problem.

2. A can of WD-40. It has over 2000 uses and is great for pests and squeaky wheels.

3. Climb on top of a mountain. Inexpensive and good for your health, both mental and physical. It has been proven that once on top of a mountain screaming can drive the unwanted pests away.

4. Local elected officials. Once these elected officials get involved the pest usually scurries away. Nothing is better than having a local elected official to shine the light on the unwanted pest.

5. Your clergy person. Why not get the Big Guy involved? Surely your unwanted pest does not believe in a higher being and will run away from His power.

So there you have it, five tested ways to rid yourself of that unwanted pest. We here at SBSB would be interested to know which method you have tried and how it worked.