Zippy, The Wonder AP

Putz. Schmuck. Douchebag. There really is an endless flow of adjectives to describe Numb Nuts. Numbskull is one that comes to mind.

Yesterday a boy, a fourth grader, told his teacher, "fu** you bitch, suck my d**k." Such language. Normally this use of the English language would be frowned upon by polite society. This after the young man hocked a loogey on the stairwell wall.

Anyhoo, Numb Nuts was immediately notified. This was necessary due to the fact that bothering The Chosen One could not, would not, will not deal with any situation, and Dear Principal John Deacon was holed up in its bunker pretending that all is well.

Numb Nuts eventually sauntered to the classroom where this fourth grader used such foul and abrasive language and took charge of the boy. He returned later and explained to the teacher that he was on top of the matter and that a custodian was called to clean up the aforementioned loogey. As of this writing it must be reported that wall and stairwell are resting and doing fine.

But not so the teacher. It is speculated that the teacher took offense of the offer from this boy and was looking to Numb Nuts for some kind of leadership, some sort of empathy, compassion. But alas, it soon dawned on the teacher that this was not to be found in Numb Nuts. Instead Numb Nuts, in his best condescending, patronizing voice blabbered, "this is normal for special needs students." One would assume that a response such as this from Numb Nuts is normal from an assistant principal with special needs.

But wait, what about any kind of talking to from Numb Nuts to the young man? Surely you ask this called for some type of repercussions, some consequences. Of course it did. The young man was taken back to Numb Nuts office where he spent the next fifty minutes playing video games on Numb Nuts computer! I say jolly good old chap! That is really showing the student the seriousness and inappropriateness of what was said. I am sure the young man learned his lesson.

What a tool Numb Nuts is.