The 400

Wow! It has been over a month since I last blogged. Been busy.


A lot has happened in that time. But what really stands out is the new (old?) ATR system.

Chaz has written several blog posts (here and here) on what is new again. In fact I had a nice conversation with him about who these lucky 400 ATR's will be that will be sent to a school and if they pass the talent portion (rated highly effective or effective) will permanently placed, without any say from the principal, in that school.

Chaz, and I agree, said that the 400 will be those ATR's that were excessed. ATR's who were naughty and did not play well with others will still be rotated, though no one knows how long the rotations will be.

The way the DOE is going about placing 400 out of, let's say for arguments sake, 1000 ATR's (give or take a hundred) really is not a fun nor clever way of choosing who gets a chance at the grand prize of being permanently placed. Myself and The Crack Team have come up with fairer, even better methods of choosing these lucky 400.

Rent out Ichan Stadium on Randall's Island (The irony!) and have Romanesque gladiator battles to the death amongst ATR's. When there are 400 left, these will be the ATR's that are placed. In case of a match that does not end in the death of an ATR Chancellor Fariña will be in her box Caesar like and gave give a thumbs up or down. Or just release the lions until there are 400 ATR's still standing.

During the last two months of August have all principals wine and dine ATR's, cavort with them in romantic and risque situations. Go bike riding, long walks along the East River, etc... You know just like in The Bachelor. On the last day of August have a show at Radio City in which all the ATR's will be on stage and principals will give the ATR's they have selected a rose. The rest of the ATR's can leave and cry and say bitchy things about the 400 ATR's that were chosen.

Infect, or alter the DNA, of 400 ATR's with Pon Farr. Instead of wanting to mate with Stonn, the ATR's will be wanting to be permanently placed. However, they must fight to the death 400 other ATR's selected by principals. Who's ever left alive will be permanently place. Chancellor Fariña will serve as T'Pau for each match. Oh, and there will be no "tri-ox compound" allowed to be administered.

Go up to The Apollo on 125th and have a real live amateur talent show. When The Sandman got rid of 600 ATR's the 400 left will be permanently placed.

Lord of the Flies meets ATRS. Put the 1000 ATR's on North Brother Island in the East River beginning August 1. When 400 are left the contest is over.

Or you can have a demolition derby like that desert scene in Smokey and the Bandit II.

Or the best idea we thought of. The DOE can be fair and place the ATR's based on merit, respect, and honor and get rid of the bogus fair student funding, let ATR's go on true interviews and let the principals do what's best for the students and the communities.

And our union could have our backs. For real this time. 

It's that simple.