EXCLUSIVE NEVER BEFORE SEEN CATHY BLACK VIDEO!!!!

The crack team here at SBSB has managed to creatively acquire a short video of Cathie Black's days working in the magazine publishing business. This is an exclusive so therefore all copyright protections are in place. Please enjoy.

Cathie Black's Choice Of Birth Control

I am a prophet. A soothsayer. A fortune teller. I am Oz. On December 4, 2010 it was predicted in regards to The Talking Cathie Doll,

"You have no perspective, you have no clue. You will fail. You will have a complete fail by the summer of 2011. How is this known? Your mouth. You just can't keep stupid things coming out of the hole under your nose."

It all came true on January 13, 2011.

Now I have predicted a major fail by the summer. I still stick to that, However, fellow blogger, Accountable Talk is predicting a major fail of The Talking Cathy Doll by April 1. I suggest we start some kind of pool to see when the fail comes. Mr Talk, let's go mano a mano in our predictions for the fail that is to come.

What gibberish spewed out of The Talking Cathie Doll's mouth? According to today's Daily News, two dumb comments. First, in a discussion with parents about overcrowding The Talking Cathie Doll sayeth;

"Could we just have some birth control for a while?" "It would really help us."

Gee, why stop at at birth control? What happens if there is a family opposed to birth control? Why not suggest that all male children of parents at PS 234 drown their sons in the Hudson River? Or better, why not have all parents, other than the ones at PS 234, post spring lamb's blood on their doors as the spirit of Mayor Bloomberg passes over. This will certainly relieve the overcrowding situation at PS 234, and what a perfect way to discuss her next stupid comment.

In the same meeting The Talking Cathie Doll claimed that weighing the needs of different schools reflected a "Sophie's Choice." Let me see if I understand this. The Talking Cathie Doll is comparing situations at different schools and how decisions are made to each school to a story about a mother who during WW II had to decide which daughter of hers to allow the Nazis to kill. This would make a very interesting venn diagram to use in a classroom, or perhaps on a state ELA exam. See? The Talking Cathie Doll is already contributing to education. And to believe there were people out there who said that she would bring nothing to the education table.

But to give The Talking Cathie Doll a break, she said she was only "joking." Yes, I believe she was joking. It was an insensitive comment, and showed a lack of empathy to the parents. But, as Mr Spock once said, "One usually makes jokes about one's anxieties and insecurities." This was said in an outtake of "Star Trek IV, The Voyage Home," in which Captain Kirk ran into Shecky Greene and needed to learn about 20th Century humor. One can wonder what The Talking Cathie Doll really says at those Upper East Side cocktail parties once she has a few 7&7's inside of her.

But there is something even more disturbing. The fact that she compared the atrocities of the Nazis and the pain of a mother must make under unspeakable conditions. Yes, "Sophie's Choice" is fiction, but it is metaphorical of what Jews had to live through and face every single day of WW II. With a workforce that I still think, if not is predominantly Jewish, but still a goodly amount, with strong roots in the Jewish community, this was a not just a poor choice of words, but a horrifying choice of words as well. Yeah, her boss is Jewish. But, Bloomberg is a self loathing Jew who still feels that he is needs the acceptance of the well heeled, upper class gentile types.

For a person who lost a family member in the Holocaust, one of the greatest Polish-Jewish artists of his time, Maurycy Trębacz, who died a horrible death in the Łódź Ghetto in 1941 I truly am offended and quite concerned that the chancellor of the New York City Department of Education would make such a remark. If The Talking Cathie Doll is able to denigrate Jews and the memories of the Holocaust, what other ethnic groups does she make sly, snarky comments about at those exclusive cocktail parties? Think about it. Think about it all.

But not to fret, today, Tweed's Minister of Propaganda, Natalie Ravitz, put out a release that said in regards to the birth control joke by The Talking Cathie Doll,

"...regrets if she left a different impression by making and off-handed joke in the course of that conversation."

Unfortunately, not a mention was made of her "Sophie's Choice" comment.

Cathie Black's Baffling Email To Principals

I don't know about others, but I have had a tough time getting my hands on a copy of The Talking Cathie Doll's mass email to principals (teachers for some reason were exempt) that she had sent out this past Tuesday, November 30. Last night on Twitter, @QueensTeacher1 mentioned that she heard it was not well written. This made me want to get my hands on it even more. The crack team here at SBSB place many calls, called in many chits to get a copy of this email all to no avail. A miracle was needed. Some on the team went to shul this morning to pray and put a good word in to God for guidance on how to get this email. Others on the team were planning to go to Mass for the first time in years tomorrow morning. This email was coveted and needed.

Our prayers were answered this morning as we opened up an email. Our pal, our friend, Whitney Tilson couldn't help but spill the beans. He somehow got a copy and decided, probably unauthorized, to share it in one of his mass emailings. We thank him for answering our prayers.

So with all the kudos Whitney rightly deserves, we here at SBSB present The Talking Cathie Doll's email. Comments from the SBSB team are added after the email.

From: Black Cathie
Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 2010 5:47 PM
Subject: Hello from Cathie Black

Dear Colleagues,

I am reaching out to you to introduce myself and thank you for welcoming me to the Department of Education. Now that the State has officially approved the waiver, I am eager to become fully immersed in the exciting work ahead.

The past few weeks have been nothing short of a whirlwind for all of us, but like you, I am fully committed to our mission to provide every child in New York City with a high-quality education. That’s why I took this job—to build on the unprecedented progress that our public schools have made under the watch of Mayor Bloomberg, Chancellor Klein, and all of you.

You might have heard or read a little about me in the past few weeks, but I would like the opportunity to tell you in my own words who I am and why I am excited about this job.

For four decades I devoted my professional life to blazing trails in the magazine and publishing industry. I got where I am today by working hard, making bold decisions, and listening closely to the strong teams I’ve had around me. I intend to proceed in the same way during my upcoming tenure at the DOE. I know that this is my most important mission yet, which is why I will need all of you with me over the next three years as we continue to transform the system to put children first.

As you know, I will appoint Shael Polakow-Suransky as Senior Deputy Chancellor and Chief Academic Achievement Officer. In this new role, Shael will be responsible for the administration and supervision of all instructional initiatives and will serve as my counselor on all matters related to teaching and learning. Shael has more than fifteen years of experience in New York City’s public schools in nearly every capacity. I am thrilled that he has agreed to take on this critical position. I also look forward to working closely with Sharon Greenberger as my Chief Operating Officer. Sharon will continue to be responsible for managing operations and will also serve as my key advisor on critical policy, governance, strategy, and communications issues.

Over the next few weeks, I will be working with Joel, the Deputy Chancellors, and all of you to make sure this is a seamless transition. I am especially excited about getting involved in the innovative work happening throughout the Department and beginning to identify areas for improvement and new opportunities. I know that I have a lot to learn about the inner workings of the system, but I am also confident that my fresh perspective, combined with your deep experience, will help us rise to the challenge of preparing all NYC public school students for college and careers.

Thank you for your support. I look forward to getting to know you.

Sincerely,

Cathie Black

AND NOW FOR THE RETORT

1. thank you for welcoming me to the Department of Education.

Who has welcomed here? All there has been is sucking of teeth and rolling of the eyes.

2. Now that the State has officially approved the waiver,

You mean now that Steiner has caved and been bought off, had future promises made, and his cat was released your waiver has been approved.

3. but like you, I am fully committed to our mission to provide every child in New York City with a high-quality education.

But Mayor Bloomberg said said you were the closer. The right closer for what? To lay off over 6,000 teachers? To implement cuts in the DOE? To throw more money at charter schools? How then do you claim to provide every child with a high quality education?

4. For four decades I devoted my professional life to blazing trails in the magazine and publishing industry.

How have you done this? I hate to say this, but Rupert Murdoch has been more trailblazing than you have. So has Stan Lee. So has Charles Townsend. And let's not forget Hugh Heffner.

5. I got where I am today by working hard, making bold decisions, and listening closely to the strong teams I’ve had around me. I intend to proceed in the same way during my upcoming tenure at the DOE.

So have teachers gotten to where they are by working hard. Please don't try to make yourself special. Is one to assume that with this statement you will make your decisions independent of Mayor Bloomberg's wishes?

6. need all of you with me over the next three years as we continue to transform the system to put children first.

You know what? Get off the "Children First" crap. It is empty. Please.

7. I will appoint Shael Polakow-Suransky as Senior Deputy Chancellor and Chief Academic Achievement Officer.

You yourself appointed Suransky? Please share how you came to this decision. Or was he thrust upon you?

8. Shael will be responsible for the administration and supervision of all instructional initiatives and will serve as my counselor on all matters related to teaching and learning.

Translated: Shael will explain to me very slowly in words I can understand how to do my job. I will learn from Shael the difference between guided reading and hands on mathematics. Shael will also explain to The Talking Cathie Doll that it is wrong to think of Mexicans and African-Americans as servants.

9. Shael has more than fifteen years of experience in New York City’s public schools in nearly every capacity. I am thrilled that he has agreed to take on this critical position.

You are thrilled he is there as your beard.

10. I will be working with Joel, the Deputy Chancellors, and all of you to make sure this is a seamless transition.

Why aren't the teachers and parents mentioned here? Don't you want to work with them? Hey instead of visiting schools, visit the neighborhoods. Come down to 149th St. Come hang out on 153rd and Melrose Ave. Visit Brownsville. See these neighborhoods from something other than your limo and from the interstate.

11. but I am also confident that my fresh perspective, combined with your deep experience, will help us rise to the challenge of preparing all NYC public school students for college and careers.

You have no perspective, you have no clue. You will fail. You will have a complete fail by the summer of 2011. How is this known? Your mouth. You just can't keep stupid things coming out of the hole under your nose.

Please Cathie, go find another line of work.

Steiner Waves With One Finger To The People Of New York

A sad day today as New York State education commissioner David Steiner failed to show any backbone, any guts, any chutzpah and granted the waiver to be chancellor to The Talking Cathy Doll, Cathie Black.

The crack team at SBSB has read the report from David Steiner elaborating on his position of why he is granting the waiver to The Talking Cathie Doll, and we have taken umbrage, and quite some concern at some of what Steiner has written.

On page 7 of his report, Steiner cites, "Ms. Black does not possess a master's or higher degree."

This is bothersome. The Talking Cathy Doll graduated from college some 40 odd years ago and never once too the time to better herself, or even had the intellectual curiosity to pursue a master's?

But let's look at what Commisioner Steiner saw as The Talking Cathy Doll's qualifications.

On page 9 Steiner blabbered, "Throughout her extraordinarily successful career in publishing, Ms Black has demonstrated superb management and leadership skill."

How? Why no mention of specific things she had done? USA Today? This paper is basically given away free. It is McPaper. It is written for those who are ADHD. Cosmo? Thanks to this magazine millions of teenage girls feel they are not good enough. Anyway I can think of plenty of entrepreneurs who have been just as, if not more successful than The Talking Cathy Doll. How about Stan Lee of Marvel comics? He has been with Marvel for over fifty years. He created practically the whole stable of Marvel super heroes. He wrote, edited, did everything. He also started the movie production end of Marvel. Stan Lee is a true visionary.

Continuing on page 9, at Hearst "she led a team that produced titles in over 100 countries, launched a number of publications."

So did Stan Lee. Go to the most remote corner of thew world. Do they know Spiderman or whatever bubble head that was on the cover of Cosmo?

More of page 9, "She was at the forefront of advancing and implementing including the expansion of online and mobile advances."

Wow. Impressive. Nothing that a complete dork who lives in his parents basement and has a Barberella poster on his wall couldn't have thought up. But then again without The Talking Cathy Doll, we would not have the Cosmo sex tip of the day.

Still blabbering away on page 9, her "ability to lead a large multi-faceted organization confronting enormous challenges and complexities."

She published magazines. Why not Hugh Heffner, Larry Flynt, or Stan Lee. Heck what about Bud Selig? His vision of the Internet brought untold revenue streams to Major League Baseball.

Onto page 10, "She is an effective communicator diverse stakeholders implementation of her vision."

Stakeholders? Or do you mean shareholders? Please, if you mean stakeholders as in the children and families of New York the only experience she has had is knowing that Mexicans work on her yard and to be sure to allow the African-American servants in through the backdoor.

"She also has substantial experience in dealing with limited resources and making difficult financial decisions."

So does Minnesota Twins general manager Bill Smith. This is a team that has half the resources of the Yankees and is always in the thick of the pennant race. Why not Bill Smith as chancellor?

But Steiner does take a swipe at her claiming her lack of knowing anything about human diversity, and how her service at Notre Dame is as empty has a suit at Syms still on the rack. And that her role at Harlem Village Academy is nothing more as some taking up space adviser.

Yes, The Talking Cathy Doll,has sat on boards, has appeared to taken an interest in some form of education but there are two reasons for this. $$$ and appearances. She is not there. She is a phony, and a shill. Someone Herr Bloomberg can control.

Sadly we must make with what has been served us. The Talking Cathy Doll is empty, both in mind, ideas, and spirit. I predict a major fail by June.

Something Odd About Shael And Cathie

Separated at birth?

Lumpy Rutherford's father Fred, and former Alan Brady producer, Mel Cooley

And new NYC DOE Chief Academic Officer Shael Polakow-Suransky


And actor David Spade

And new NYC DOE chancellor Cathie Black

Who Is In Charge?

In 1980, Ronald Reagan to allay fears that he was not ready for the presidency came thisclose to tapping former president Gerald Ford as his vice-president. Ford, as part of his pre-condition to accept the nomination wanted a "co-presidency" and control of all executive appointments. Reagan than nominated George H.W. Bush as his VP. The lesson, you need someone in charge.

From 1961 to 1962 the Chicago Cubs did not have a manager. What they had was known as the "College of Coaches." These coaches rotated as managers of the team at one time or another during the season and invariably there was no discerning pattern, philosophy of the team. The Cubs record in these two years was 123-193. No one was in charge.

In the Brady Bunch, Greg and Marcia had convinced mom and dad to allow them to babysit the rest of the kids whilst Mike and Carol went out on the town and Alice was out with Sam ostensibly to help him with a meat problem. Needless to say, mayhem soon took over the Brady household. Greg insisted he was in charge, Marcia insisted it was her.

In 2010, New York State Education Commissioner David Steiner decided that no one would be in charge. He gave an out to Herr Mayor, His Holiness, and Mystic Ruler, Michael "Zod" Bloomberg. His out? Put an education person as second in command, a co-chancellor if you will, in the form of Shael Suransky.

I just don't see how this can work out. Truly, who is the subordinate? Yes, I know, both Cathie Black and Shael are ultimately subordinate to Bloomy, but they are human. Both have ambitions, both want to be heard, both will have factions. Both want to be heard and have their point come across. Who will the drones at Tweed suck up to?

The New York Times listed the responsibilities of Shael, but it seems this is what a chancellor should do. What exactly are the Talking Cathie Doll's duties?

No one can win this. There can only be losers. And the worst part is the ultimately, yet sadly the children of New York and their families will pay the ultimate price. Why? Because of the adults. Bloomberg, because he is impervious to hearing what the people want, The Talking Cathie Doll, because she is so self absorbed and can't see the forest through the trees at how she is already disdained, and Suransky for he has no qualities, that he allows himself to be led around by a leash. All three of these so called adults lack any humility.

But lest we forget David Steiner. He and only he could have put a stop to this. He didn't. He failed the students and the families of New York City. Four, count them, four members of his panels recommended that The Talking Cathie Doll not be granted the waiver. I would hazard to guess that these four were not the ones with ties to Bloomberg, but miracles do happen and I could be wrong. But Steiner has dropped the ball. What recourse does anyone have with Steiner? None, sadly.

It seems I have left out our governor elect Andrew Cuomo. Andy put it so eloquently when he said, "Mayoral control means that the mayor can pick anyone he wants to." Yes, that is true. But would you say the same thing if Bloomberg had chosen Super Dave Osborne? The president gets to choose who he wants for cabinet positions and the Supreme Court. But there is this thing called senate confirmation. Check and balances. Something we lack here in the City of New York.

Cathie Black's Qualifications

So the crack team here at SBSB search long and hard over the last 48 hours to find some clue as to what qualifies Cathie Black to run the schools here in New York City. It was quite an exhaustive search. Many Diet Cokes were downed along with many deliveries from Domino's. Sadly we could not find anything that qualifies Cathie. However, we did come to one conclusion. Using a old Greek mathematical formula initiated by Pythagoras, the team was able to come to the conclusion that Cathie Black will be nothing but a sock puppet.

But, we were not done. The team stayed up another 24 hours and brainstormed others more qualified than Cathie Black to lead the schools. It is a quite impressive list and if Mayor Bloomberg had actually taken the time to have a national search, he would have found several viable candidates from the our list.

ERIC NADELSTERN

My 9 year old son

His best friend Greg

His friend Eli who always walks around with his fly open

Mr Ed

Mr Sulu

Neil Peart

Hugh Heffner

Deanna Troi

Mr Worf

Michael Scott

Dwight Schrute

Geddy Lee

Yoko Ono

The crew at White Castle on Southern Blvd

Ba Ba Booey

High Pitched Eric

The Big Show

Charles Baron

Charles McCord

Harry Harrison

Carol Miller

Gabe Kaplan

Howard Hesseman

Arnold Horshack

Mrs Crabtree

Ben Stein

Chevy Chase

Larry Mondello's mother

John Ratzenberger

Sting

Gene Simmons

Ron Jeremy

Judd Hirsch

Tony Danza

Vince McMahon

John Cena

George "The Animal" Steele

Sarah Silverman

Bill, the single cell Amoeba

My cat

My grandmother who has been dead for 23 years

Borat

William Shatner

Yogi Berra

Yogi Bear

Jethro Boudine

And there are just so many more. Bloomy, please how can we have the "Children First" line when clearly you are putting cronies first?

Teachers Are Not Ewoks And We Do Not Live On Coruscant

I was pulling into the parking lot at the White Castle on 149th St and Southern Blvd when I heard the news briefly over the radio. Some dude named Klein resigned a job to become Rupert Murdoch's best buddy and Mayor Bloomberg hired a black woman.

I immediately called the crack team at the SBSB cave. I relayed the information I had heard on the radio. Instantly, they fed said information into the technologically advanced SBSB computer looking for the answer to what I had just heard. After five minutes, the answer came through on the radio loud and clear. Besides, the SBSB computer spat out a card with a bunch of holes on it that no one was able to decipher. But not from the computer. Joel Klein resigned as chancellor of the NYC schools, he accepted a job as executive VP in charge of Chancellors Who Have Been Unceremoniously Asked For Their Resignations Immediately And That Have Their Best Buddies Find A Nothing Job For Them at News Corp., and some magazine chick by the name of Cathie Black of Hearst Magazines, and formerly of USA Today has become the new anointed one. Great someone who gave us the McPaper is now going to give us the McSchool

The only thing I am not surprised about is the Uncle Joel went to work for Rupert Murdoch. I was mocked by thousands last month for a post I had written concerning Ruppie and Uncle Joel. But the photo turned out to be pretty prophetic, eh?

So what to make of this? Before we start dancing around like the Ewoks, and the population on Coruscant had after Vader was killed and the Death Star exploded, know this. Mayor Palpatine is still amongst us. The Sith Lord always has an apprentice. We are not at Episode VI yet. No, we are halfway through Episode III, Revenge of the Sith. Count Dooku is gone, now Vader has taken its place. The fight must not end.

El presidente de UFT, Michale Mulgrew released this statement; “I look forward to working with Ms. Black. As a teacher, I will help in any way I can to help the children of New York.” Lame. Wrong answer. Again I turned to the Crack Team here at SBSB for them to formulate a better response than Mulgrew gave. After many hours, and several deliveries from Domino's later there was nothing. I then turned to be nine year old son, catching him during a commercial break of iCarly. In five seconds he came up with what Mulgrew should have said; "After eight years of a non educator running and ruining our schools in which there has been no positive affects on students learning, inflated graduation rates, the scapegoating of teachers, closing of schools, and several convoluted reorganizations, we call upon SED chief David Steiner to deny a waiver for Cathie Black, a woman who has had no experience whatsoever in education, to be chancellor of the NYC schools." Wow, imagine that from a nine year old.

This is not the time for us to roll out the welcome mat and bring cookies and milk. This is the time to start taking the offensive. I believe the deform movement is on the ropes. They have overreached and now the public is staring to see what they truly are. Klein was sacrificed. Mayor Mike has seen the albatross that Klein has become. How else can he be the Jewish Ross Perot in 2012 with Klein around his neck? The only thing that should be on the neck is the UFT's foot on the DOE's neck and we don't let up until we get back the right for students to be properly educated in this city and the respect each and every parent, as well as teachers deserve.