SOUTH BRONX SCHOOL: I Am Quitting My Job For An Easier Life

Thursday, February 24, 2011

I Am Quitting My Job For An Easier Life

I didn't watch President Obama's state of the union address this year. For several reasons. One, I think he is a dolt and I regret voting for him. Two, and most importantly, I had something to pick out of my toe that evening. And lastly, I didn't want to.

So that is why it did come as a surprise, just today, something Obama said in that speech. This comment made its way across the Twittersphere and plunked in my lap.

Apparently, fellow blogger and tweeter, The Frustrated Teacher, had a Twitter conversation some White House hack, Dan Pfeiffer (@pfeiffer44) earlier this month. In this said mentioned conversation, the hack, claimed that Obama sees education as a path out of poverty. OK, I'll take the bait.

Since I am educated, I graduated from one of Westchester County's finer high school, graduated from a fine SUNY, with a cross registration at a finer private college, and have a master's degree to boot, I will prove President Obama's point.

Starting today I will partake in ingesting copious amounts of marijuana and drink my self silly every day. I plan to spew junks at least several times a day, at least once on myself, and by evening will hopefully have the dry heaves.

I have sent in my resignation to the NYC DOE and have instructed my wife to immediately quit her job. In lieu of her not quitting her job, I will verbally and psychologically abuse her to the point of her leaving me. I will be able to partake in the mentioned activities because I will be ripped all day.

Since I am no longer working and will be in an altered state of mind this will give me the opportunity to sit on my couch watching bad talk shows. Not to fret, I will be quite comfortable sitting around in my underwear and bathrobe while scratching my hoozits, getting ripped, and yelling at the TV.

But you may ask, what shall I do for an income? How will I keep my home, provide for my son, transport myself, eat, get money for the mind altering products?

The money will just flow to me. I will be able to keep everything. I shan't want for a thing. Why? Because I have an education and that means that there is no way I can live in poverty. It is that simple.


Anonymous said...

Pfft... LOSER

Anonymous said...

i think i love you.

Anonymous said...

Wow.. you do know he meant it as a tool. It is always easier to criticize than get in the fight. He was voted President not KING. People need to review how the system works. Congress passes legislation, not the President . And it is those policies that affect jobs, education, and society as a whole.

Pete Zucker said...

^^^ Wow, thanks for letting me know how government works. I greatly appreciate the time you took to share this with me.

Unknown said...

The fact that the President thinks kids living in poverty simply need an education is silly, and Bronx took it to its ridiculous extreme to make a point.

American kids living in poverty begin life at a disadvantage. Schools don't have the resources to ameliorate those disadvantages, such as poor health, bad teeth, lack of sleep, violence, bad or absent parents, squalor, disease, and desperation.

Obama is leading us, not legislating us (but impressing legislators), but leading us down the wrong road by claiming education, and by definition, teachers, are the answer to lifting these impoverished kids up despite their lives at home, which by the way, account for nearly 90% of factors influencing a child's ability to learn.

Anon who likes to explain government, you're an idiot.