The Comedy Stylings Of Albany Brighter Choice Thomas W Carroll

Has it been over six months since Thomas W Carroll's musing have been ridiculed on this blog? When last we wrote about Tommy, it seemed that someone exposed what Albany Brighter Choice, and for that matter, Tommy are truly about.

So why after six months are we revisiting the all knowing Thomas W Carroll after six months? Well, today Tommy shared his gifts for comedy in a column written in today's New York Post. Entitled, "A Better Recipe To Fix New York Schools," Tommy surely is at his comedic best.

Tommy jokes; "That's because money isn't the answer and because most of the reforms are either too small or have been suffocated by union obstacles (like the 150-page master union contract in New York City)"

Please explain exactly which reforms have been suffocated by the UFT contract. Your lack of specifics shows that you have not only not read the contract, but just parroting and showing any lack of an independent thought process. Using a "straw man" is so beneath your perceived wonderfullness. Yes, money is not the answer, but tell that to Geoffrey Canada who has whored himself out to Goldman Sachs for $21 million dollars.

Tommy gives us this side splitter; "After all this spending, literally hundreds of thousands of students are enrolled in district schools to which no politician would ever send his or her own children or grandchildren."

I am going to throw a truth out here. Most politicians are white. Most politicians will not allow their children to be in a school that is overwhelmingly minority. Or, most politicians are stupid. Most politicians have no idea about education unless it looks like a bandwagon they can jump onto. In fact Tommy, why don't you move your family to North Albany or Arbor Hill? Be a trendsetter.

Tommy then got serious, but it was tongue in cheek; "Finding a way to provide high-quality schooling for these children -- now, not 20 years from now -- is the central educational issue of our day."

Yes! I agree with you here. But, let's do something to rid ourselves of poverty. Let's give schools the resources it needs. I don't mean classroom teachers. But smaller class sizes, libraries, teachers who are minorities, more counselors, a realistic curriculum, competent administrators, reading specialists, ending teaching to the test. The list I have can go on and on.

Tommy stops being so so serious, and really gets knee slapping funny when he says, "First, clear away obstacles to the growth of charter schools. More than 40,000 students remain on charter waiting lists around the state, yet bureaucratic and political obstacles have started to slow charter-school growth"

Ah, charter schools. Yes, the 20% panacea to all of educations ills. Let's translate that first sentence. "More charter schools, so me and my minions can make more moolah and siphon off that Title I money for ourselves." Oh, and can you prove, without a shadow of a doubt, and by an independent organization that there are 40,000 students on the waiting list? But this bureaucratic and political obstacles you mention are just code for, "we don't want to be held to the same standards public schools are held to."

Then there is this that made the crack team here at SBSB ROTFLOFAO. "For example, the process for siting a charter school in New York City is becoming Kafkaesque. Just witness the travails faced by two high-performing charter networks -- Success Charter Network and Public Prep"

Travails for Eva? Are you joking? What Eva wants Eva got. I think the only travail she went through was having to deal with Joel Klein oiling up his bald head and rubbing it all over her body.

A fast-track process -- with set deadlines -- must be instituted for locating charter schools in available public space.

"I need my money now! I have bondholders to pay!" is the translation into English

I almost coughed up a lung laughing so hard at this; "Third, use layoffs as an opportunity to change the mix of teachers standing in front of classrooms, removing deadwood and protecting the best and the brightest"

Unfortunately, the state's "last in, first out" law will mean that many burned-out teachers will keep their positions and some of the most talented and dynamic teachers will hit the street. This makes no sense. Cuomo needs to push through a law giving districts the authority to weed out the worst and retain the best teachers.

Deadwood? Isn't that a show on HBO? Don't you mean, the best the brightest and the cheapest? And do explain these so called burned out teachers. Just how can one identify burned out teachers? Should we identify burned out cops, firefighters, nurses, all other public employees? How are we to determine the worst and the best? Why not suggest this Tommy? Why don't see what we can do to keep teachers from, as you say, "burning out?" Why not make sure teachers get support from administrators, get support from the community, get support from the parents? Let's reduce class sizes to what they should be. Did you know that teachers do more than just teach? Teachers are mothers, fathers, priests, friends, rabbis, confidants, counselors, etc... When teachers go home, we don't leave our jobs at home, nor do we have a string of poloponies to tend to. A teacher's work is never done.

Most schools continue to deliver instruction based on a factory model and on a school calendar from an agrarian era. Students need longer school days and school years, and greater use of virtual learning.

Longer school days? Students need to be kids! Why don't you and your ilk contribute to real recreational activities for these students after work. Build some ballfields, have organzied after school recreation. Guilderland surely has this, so does Rye Brook. Why can't we have this in the inner city? As far as virtual learning, I am glad that you have drank from the same Kool Aid cup as Uncle Joel.

Tommy left me laughing so hard with this, I had an accident; "At the same time, curricula must place greater emphasis on world history, international economics and the teaching of languages such as Mandarin Chinese"

How can this be done? Read my lips. It is all about the tests, how can we do anything other than test prep. You are part of this testing cabal. You can't have it both ways.

Tommy, you are a very funny, funny man. The sad part, or is it pathetic, is that you truly believe what you are saying. I think you should have a career as a comedy writer.