SOUTH BRONX SCHOOL: Don't Mess With My Family

Monday, October 31, 2011

Don't Mess With My Family

Rarely if ever do I talk about my personal life on these pages. Yes, I allude to certain inane and mundane things in my life, I mention my son and wife at times, and talk in generalities about having a family. Tonight I am going to get personal. How does this tie into the education debate? You shall see.

Yesterday my wife went to see her doctor. She had been battling a cold most of the week and was wheezing. The doctor explained that her blood oxygen level was quite low, she has asthmatic-bronchitis, and she must get to the ER immediately.

So we arrived at the ER and spent most of the day there. At around 5 PM she was given a CT scan of her chest and it was noticed that her lymph nodes in her lungs were showing. This was not originally considered to be a big deal especially since pneumonia was added to the list of what was ailing her. But anyway, she was admitted.

This morning when I spoke to her to informed me they have noticed a slight enlargement in her Spleen and wished to take a further CT scan. This time it showed lymph nodes on her stomach. When the radiologists report was finally sent to her attending physician the dreaded word, lymphoma was on the report.

Now already having lost my mother to ovarian cancer 29 years ago and my father to pancreatic cancer two years ago one can imagine what must be racing through my brain, let alone my wife's brain. I really don't need to go through this shit again.

But I have decided that if the worse case scenario occurs that my priorities are my wife, her health, my son, and his well being. I thought long and hard about it. In 1997 before God I took a vow to be there for my wife. In 2001 when my son was born I told him that daddy will always be there for him.

I am in a pickle. If God forbid the worst happens, wouldn't I need to take days off, leave early, come in late? Hmmm, let's see. Family or students, students or family? Hmmm. Whom shall come first in my life?

Even Bill Gates bottom bitch Little Evan Stone would say I am a no goodnick if I do not put my students first. That I will be a bad and incompetent teacher if I take many days and/or am late, even in such a circumstance as I describe.

Even in E4E's infamous white paper on teacher evaluations the brainless authors want to give
5% demerits for a lack of professionalism and/or poor attendance

The white paper also says;
Teachers are professionals: we work hard and we take our careers seriously. High standards for attendance

Yeah, I do take my career seriously. But I take my family much, much, much more seriously. Family comes first, then my God, then my morals and ethics, then friends, then my country, then my job. Sorry, that is just the way it is.

Some tool had an idea in the white paper;
If teachers are absent more than the allowed number of sick days, for example, they should lose points on the evaluation
I swear, this demerit idea won't work. Ralph Kramden once tried to have Alice on a demerit system and she told him to blow it out his fat ass.

Anyway, so seriously, what of someone in my situation? I hope, I PRAY, I am putting the cart way ahead of the horse, but I like to be prepared, know my options, know what I am dealing with.

One thing I always hear is that in the "real world" the private sector that you will be fired on the spot for poor attendance. That you just can;t take days off willy nilly.

I call bullocks! My cousin, may he rest in peace, had bile duct cancer. Not at anytime did he need to worry about his pay nor his health benefits. He worked for a law firm and not once did they ever reduce or dock his pay. In fact, he was kept on payroll the entire time of his illness. Even whene he was getting chemo treatments and could barely get out of bed for weeks. Even when he knew the end was coming.

So all I can say if the worse case happens is FU Uncle Mike, the DOE and all you Ed Deformers out there. My wife and my son will always come first.

I pray, I hope that things will be OK.


Betsy Combier said...

so sorry to hear the news. Hang in there, God may be giving you a nudge, not a push or hit.

Michael Fiorillo said...

Having gone through a very similar situation last year, I wish you and your family the best

zulma said...

Prayers will strengthen you to take good care of your family. I want thank you for sharing this difficult time in your life with the bloggers who wish you and your family the best.

Anonymous said...

You are, of course, 100% right. Your family comes first. Sadly, ME$ME does not get it because they are all 25 years old. I almost feel badly for any kids they may have- but then they'll just expect their teachers to be the surrogate parents. :/ I pray you get good news about your wife.

Chaz said...

My thoughts are with you and your family and screw the rest. The DOE, E4E. and the Mayor and his pet poodle.

Ms. Tsouris said...

There is not an ounce of humanity in those who run the DOE or their sycophants who run their mouths at E$E. I had my priorities straight when I took care of my father, who had dementia and died at 87 1/2 years old. Because I had taken off 12-13 days for the two prior years, I got a very charitable counseling memo about two weeks before he died. I also received an admonishing to "hire someone to take care of him" from a pencil-necked, flat-assed bitch who was originally one of those teachers from Spain when the old Board of Ed couldn't find anyone to teach back in the early '80's. She was an admin and an absolute coldhearted bitch on wheels. She has since retired and gone back to Spain. The principal has had physical problems and he retired. Never once did I look back and regret being there for my father. I wish you and your family, especially your wife the best and I hope she makes a speedy recovery. Make sure you take advantage of the Family Medical Leave Act; a friend gave me the information and I wrote THEM up for not informing me or interceding on my behalf once they noticed "a pattern of absence". FU to them all; family is so much more important than their opinion or actions. The kids actually were far more understanding and supportive. These were ISS students with "limitations". My thoughts are with you and your family. I wish you all the best. Remember the words of Mi Shebeirach .... "bless those in need of healing with r'fuah sh'leimah".

Anonymous said...

I hope your wife gets better.

If need be take advantage of a FMLA leave which retains your health benefits and can be used for a maximum of 12 weeks either straight or intermittently.


Pogue said...

Hope all goes well.

ed notes online said...

I hope it all works out. Keep us posted and hang in there.

bookworm said...

So sorry to hear this. I hope it has a good resolution. My Mom is currently undergoing her second round of chemo (cancer came back) and if things really get bad I won't feel an ounce of guilt taking some time to travel and see her. So far so good, but we all know how these situations can change.

Screw the DOE, E$E, and every other acronym we deal with daily. Karma is a, well, you know, and these free-wheeling 25 y/o won't be so forever. The first day they have to stay home with a sick child will be the day they suddenly realize the "old folks" knew something.