SOUTH BRONX SCHOOL: Governor Cuomo Announces A New Education Committee

Monday, January 2, 2012

Governor Cuomo Announces A New Education Committee

We here at SBSB wish to take the time and congratulate Governor Cuomo on his call in tomorrow's state of the state address tomorrow night in calling for an education committee to look at education across the state. This is an idea we here at SBSB have mulled over in the past.

Wait, hang on here. A member of the crack team is informing me that Gov. Cuomo's planned ed. committee is not all peaches and cream. Hank is informing me as I write this that the education committee will be staffed by those outside of education. Hmmmm. In light of recent events we here at SBSB wish to withdraw our congratulations and instead flip our collective middle fingers at Gov Cuomo for this asinine idea.

But more news is coming across the SBSB newsroom. Crack team member Shlomo has been working the phones with contacts in Albany and has just had  the names of the outsiders  faxed to us that will sit on the committee determining the best path for education in the Empire State. Job well done, Shlomo!

The list:

Georgina Bloomberg Her equestrian skills will bring a certain panache and class to the committee.

Jesus, the janitor at The Food Network Originally it was planned that Gov. Cuomo's main squeeze, Sandra Lee was to be on the committee. But she believes in having someone else do the hard work for you so what better way than having Jesus doing it for her.

Father O'Brien Priest at the Church of St John and Mary in Chappaqua and the priest who happened to look the other way with his right palm extended when Andrew Cuomo got divorced, er, his marriage annulled from Kerry Kennedy.

Glen Moreno Chairman of Pearson and what better way to say Thank You! for lavishing contracts upon, and receiving donations from?

Spalding Koch Bill Koch's 19 year old grandson. He is a spoiled rotten kid, but needs something to do with his time. Anyway, Gov Cuomo owes the Koch brothers big time.

Cee Lo Green The committee needs some street cred. Also, Cee Lo feels that he needs to look like he cares.

Wendi Murdoch What is an important education committee without a Murdoch? Besides, it gives her something to do as the Ciallis takes effect on Rupert.

And two more spots need to be filled. At press time we don't have the names but we do know one member will be from Western New York to show that Gov Cuomo cares about that part of the state, and the other member will be a rich, rich person with homes in Bedford Hills, Manhattan, and Hampton Bays. This member has children that are currently educated privately in an exclusive boarding school.

Thank you Governor Cuomo! You certainly made my choice voting 3rd party in 2010 look better and better everyday.


Pissedoffteacher said...

You nailed the committee members perfectly.

Mona Davis, NYC Parents Union said...

Cuomo should also appoint Jeb Bush and Frank Biden.

All jokes aside, this ed committee is being formed to accelerate the privatization of public education in NYC by using our children as weapons to kill the teachers union. It's all about $$$. Parents and teachers will have no voice if DINO Cuomo has his way.

Pete Zucker said...

Just in case anyone is not sure the above comment was submitted by the classy, the sophisticated, the elegant Mona Davids.

Anonymous said...

How come you are all so smart--and know this was a joke posting. I think it sounded very realistic.

Pete Zucker said...

The scary thing it is all too realistic.

ed notes online said...

The only problem with this post is you left Evan and Sydney off the list. But on the other hand, Bill Gates might just buy them a few seats.

Anonymous said...