SOUTH BRONX SCHOOL: Eva Moskowitz Blazes Saddles

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Eva Moskowitz Blazes Saddles

News on the street that Eva Moskowitz and her ilk are invading the South Bronx. Maybe she'll move into the projects. She will be taking over an already excellently run neighborhood elementary school with strong ties in the community. Oh well, what Eva wants, Eva goes whining to Joel.

I wonder how Eva will go about bogarting this school. But the teachers won't leave. I wonder how my hero Mel Brooks write about Eva taking over the school. I'm rubbing my chin, the daydream music is playing and everything is getting wavy........

It's a Blazing Saddles motiff. Eva in the role of Lili Von Shtupp, now Eva Von Shtupp and Joel Klein as Heddy, no it's Hedley Lamarr, now Heddy, no Hedley Klein.

Eva meets Hedley Klein:

Hedley Klein: Eva, Eva, Eva Eva, legs, Eva, Eva... I cannot finds the words to truly express my joy of our association.
Eva Von Shtupp: Bullshit. What's the job?
Hedley Klein: I love it when you talk dirty.
Eva Von Shtupp: Come on, Klein, let's get down to brass tacks. What do you want me to do?
Hedley Klein: I want you to seduce and abandon the principal of PS 275 Bronx Ridge. Do you think you can do it?

The principal from PS 275 Bronx Ridge knocks on the door of Eva's office. The principal walks in. Suddenly the lights go out.

Eva Von Shtupp: Tell me, schwartzie, is it twue what they say about the way you people are gifted? (A zipper opens.) Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue. It's twue...

Two hours later..........

Eva Von Shtupp: Would you care for another schnitzengruben?
The Principal: No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.
Eva Von Shtupp:Well then, uh, how about a little, uh ... (she whispers in his ear)
The Principal: Baby please. I am not from Havana. Excuse me honey. Besides, I'm late for work. I've got some heavy chores to do.
Eva Von Shtupp: Will I, will I see you later?
The Principal: Well, it all depends on how much Vitamin E I can get my hands on.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Evil Eva strikes again.