SOUTH BRONX SCHOOL: Humphrey Bogart Runs A School

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Humphrey Bogart Runs A School

Shocking! That is what I thought when I read the New York Times article on June 10 that there is actually cheating by administrators and teachers when it comes to standardized tests. Really? I mean, really?

Of course this is going to happen and as the pressure mounts on teachers, and administrators job security vis a vis testing the occurrences to cheat and the scandals will increase.

But yesterday as I was sipping a mint julep I wondered something. One, I think there will be a major cheating scandal hitting the charter school industry soon, and secondly, what would it be like if Rick Blaine ran a school.

The school would be called, PS 456 Rick's School Bronx. Rick Blaine is the principal there. Captain Renault is the chancellor of the DOE replacing Joel Klein who was sent away to a state run institution after a scandal involving several farm animals.

The scene. Captain Renault comes to shut down Rick's school. Rick had been making progress with his students. However, his LIS having sold his soul for higher pay based on scores doctored the tests without Rick's knowledge. C'mon, do you think Humphrey Bogart would ever cheat children? Anyway Rick is about to go to the authorities when Renault comes barging in.

Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Chancellor Renault: I'm shocked, shocked to find that test cheating is going on in here! [a secretary hands Renault a printout of the ELA and Math test results]
Your high test scores, sir.
Chancellor Renault:
[sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much. [aloud]
Renault: Everybody out of the school at once!

Now sit back, grab a Coke and some popcorn and await the major cheating scandal coming.

1 comment:

Teacher in Waiting said...

I can guarantee I will be cheating when I begin teaching. No way do I want
a) a bad evaluation
b) not to be tenured
c) to not get a bonus
d) an administrator up my you-know-what.

Haha sucker parents and kids. Welcome to the land of the Billionaire Boys club.